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11 Situations You Can't Escape If You Still Live With Your Parents

Not quite the dreamiest of living scenarios.

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Monday, September 4, 2017 - 12:16

Let's pour one out for all the grown human adults who are forced to live at home due to the fact it's literally impossible to a) get on the housing ladder or b) make rent payments. From hanging out with your parents 24/7 to having approximately zero love-life, this is the price we pay to save a bit of cash.

1. Having to make small-talk with your parents pals.

At this point, you know more about Jeannie's divorce settlement with Nigel than your own parents do. While they're flitting around providing drinks, you're trying to make it through the next 10 minutes of conversation without your eyeballs fully glazing over.

2. Never being able to bring anyone home. Ever.

It's a universal truth that living at home with your parents means that your love life is missing presumed dead. Logistical problems mean that there's absolutely no chance someone could come home with you unless they're cool with shimmying up the drainpipe in a balaclava. 

3. Having to ask permission to invite friends over.

It's not like anyone is going to say no, but it's just good manners to let the rents know if you're planning a drunk get-together with friends. Does it make you feel like a wayward 17-year-old asking for the keys to the Nissan? Yes. Is it an ideal situation? No. But life goes on.

4. Being expected to watch TV downstairs and not in your room under the blanket.

A roommate probably wouldn't take personal offense if you wandered upstairs and shut the door after work. But mum and dad want to spend some ~quality~ time together watching Homes Under The Hammer, and who are you to crush their hopes of having a friendly child?

5. Being required to wear actual clothes around the house just incase Gran turns up.

Which she does. Alongside your parents friends. And your uncles. And your aunties. Distant relations. Friendly neighbours. Your mum's tennis buddies. Your dad's commuter pals. Etc etc etc.

6. Being told to tidy your room even when it doesn't need tidying.

Even if you *know* that your mum probably has a point when she tells you to bring down those cups and plates balancing on the window ledge, there's nothing quite so soul-destroying as being ordered to do it.

7. Being forced to come home at a reasonable time so as to not wake anyone up.

Again, three cheers for being a vaguely decent human being and not rolling in at 3am when your parents have to be up at seven. 

8. Being roped into literally every family activity going.

Your cousin's nephew's girlfriend is having a baby shower, which obviously means you're expected to attend. And bring a gift. And maybe provide some kind of car-pooling service so everyone can have a few drinks and get home in one piece. 

9. Not being able to tell a joke without it being turned into a ~life lesson~.

Turns out your parents don't find your self-sabotaging behaviour as hilarious as you do. Having literally provided you with life, they feel totally justified in dishing out the occasional brutal pep talk or two.

10. Having no excuse for skipping an event becauses your parents know your entire schedule back to front.

Good luck trying to point out that actually, you don't really feel like mingling with their work pals at some dreadful Summer function. Too bad that your parents *know* the other alternative is you sitting at home watching Netflix with the blinds closed.

11. Having to let each parent know why you might be 10 minutes later than usual.

Seeing as they know your routine by heart, some kind of running commentary is required if there's even the slightest deviation from the regular plan. God forbid something spontaneous happens.

Still, at least there's always a fridgeful of food. \_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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