Beards have long been on trend for male lovers of exposed brickwork, antiquated originality and cereal cafes, though shocking news has trickled down from Scotland that an unnamed footballing big dog has paid £6000 to have a ‘beard transplant’.

Simon Lindsay, the owner of Scottish clinic KSL Hair, has told the Sunday Post: “The procedure has taken off in recent months.” Customers range in age from 20 to 50, and their requirements vary from “patches” to a “bit of definition”.

Glaswegian hair consultant Scott McGaw reckons they’ve seen a “40% increase in inquiries about beard transplants” with requests coming in from as far as Malaga and Scandinavia.

The identity of the footballer has yet to be revealed, but we’ll spend the rest of today trying to guess who it might be. Answers on the back of a postcard/ @MTVUK.