Ceriously Overpriced: Is London’s Cereal Killer Caf Actually Mugging People Off?
We sat down and did a bit of maths.
Two bearded men have opened a café in East London. It only serves cereal.
On its own, that sentence looks like the start of a riddle, or a poor joke. It is in fact a verifiable truth, one that’s got everyone on Facebook squabbling over the two blokes who’ve had the audacity to open a ‘niche’ café on one of the most gentrified streets in the country.
With a small bowl o’ sugared wheat starting at £2.50, Channel 4 were probably within their rights to stir up trouble by asking the proprietor if a bowl is too expensive for the neighbourhood of Tower Hamlets, one of the poorest boroughs of London.
Poor bloke. He didn’t ask for this. All he wants to do is serve cereal morning noon and night, and what’s he getting? Hate.
Are the people having a go within their rights to be spouting off, or are they merely rinsing an easy target? We did some digging, a bit of a supermarket sweep if you will, to find out whether the cereal killers are milking the cash cow of gentrification, or if they’re offering a fair service for a fair price.
One of the more identifiable brands on offer in Cereal Killer, Lucky Charms are the happy face of early morning tooth decay. Available on shop shelves across the UK, a full pack of Lucky Charms are on sale for £6.20 on Amazon. If we’re saying an average serving size of cereal is 30g, Cereal Killer should be charging about 60p for a bowl. Thus making Lucky Charms a RIP OFF.
Oops! All Berries
What attracted us to this cereal is the frivolous use of exclamation mark mid title - it lends the assumption of there being something humorous about sitting down to a bowl of berries. What is less humorous is the price of a box of Oops! All Berries. Including postage, Oops! is £16.75 from eBay for 436g, making a bowl about £1.50. Verdict: Acceptable
Apple Jacks sound like they should taste like diabetes. A cereal-killing combo of apple and cinnamon with three types of ‘sweetened grain’, when paired with the flavoured milk the café boasts, how much of a mark-up is this happy heart attack offering? Based on Amazon offering 481g for £9.45, you’re paying about 2 quid more than you should be for Apple Jacks. Verdict: Don’t Go There
This aggressive sounding cereal looks exactly like British Sugar Puffs. Thus, selling it for £2.50 a bowl is already a rip off, coz you can definitely buy a disguised version in shops for about the same price. Because eBay sell Honey Smacks for £19.82 for a 433g box, we can safely say they’re Not A Rip Off, though you're getting mugged off if you choose these over nipping down the shops for a box of Sugar Puffs.
These have got a funny name, and apparently come from South Africa, which is pretty exotic by cereal standards. In this case, you’d expect a box to either be unattainable or very expensive, but in fact, Vanilla Chex are neither. A 382g box is yours for £7.09 from Amazon: we’d say they’re a gluten free Rip Off.