This Is What Happens When You Prank Your Mate With Their Own Presidential Bodyguard
What's it like to live like Obama for a day IRL?
How cool would it be to have your own PRESIDENTIAL BODYGUARD? I mean, who wouldn’t want to feel like Obama for the day?
OR would it be not actually cool but totally annoying and mess with your whole life?
This we set out to answer when we pranked one of our MTV team, Jacqui, by delivering her her very own bodyguard for the day, having been reminded of the cool/weirdness thanks to London Has Fallen – the bonkers Gerard Butler bodyguard action whirlwind of madness which has just landed on DVD.
Can you tell which is which?
So, what happens when a totally normal person gets a bodyguard IRL? Erm, this.
Presidential bodyguard Michael arrives at the office of his protectee for the day. We take him to his unsuspecting mark/VIP, Jacqui. She is confused and a bit weirded out.
To begin with, there’s a bit of confusion as to what a bodyguard does. She asks if he’ll go and get her some cake, and we remind her that he’s not a butler. And so his watch begins.
If anyone from the office came over to ask Jacqui some questions, they’d def get frisked. But they don’t, because they’re too freaked out as Michael keeps his quiet watch for danger from a close 5m distance. Jacqui gets on with some emails and tries to ignore her new guardian. So far, so weird.
It’s time for a morning meeting, so bodyguard Michael, of course, is on guard. He’s suspcious of the people in the other meeting rooms but THANKFULLY can keep tabs on them because the walls are glass. It looks like the photo above. They join the list of people a bit freaked out by the whole thing.
So, is Jacqui feeling safer already?
“It’s great. It was initially quite scary but I’m warming up to it. It’s improving by the minute. It makes me feel really important.”
Do you feel like Gerard Butler yet?
“A bit, yeah. More tough.”
Jacqui’s desk phone rings and Michael answers to eliminate anyone risky talking to her. Suddenly work phone calls become A LOT MORE SERIOUS. This could be useful…
Nature calls. Michael waits outside the ladies’.
You’ll notice this is actually a men’s/disabled toilet. “Always go for the disabled loo. Safer,” says Michael.
Jacqui, did you feel safe on the loo?
“Yeah although I felt like I had to pee faster because I didn’t want Michael to have to wait.”
“You should take more time because you’re safer,” says Michael.
Lunch time means a stroll along Camden lock because DID WE MENTION TODAY IS REALLY HOT.
Famously full of weirdos, our bodyguard looks the weirdest of them all, sticking out in his full on flashy suit.
“Don’t go off talking to strangers,” says Michael, “everywhere’s a danger.”
Strangers aside, the biggest liability here is Jacqui, who has fallen in this very canal of her own accord twice before. Michael tells her to walk by the wall at all times.
Everyone survives unscathed.
It’s time to FEAST ON ALL THE FREE SAMPLES as we arrive at the holy grail of FREE LUNCH destinations: Camden market. But bodyguard Michael jumps in to test the falafel samples before Jacqui can get to them. You’ve gotta make sure no one’s spiked ‘em.
Jacqui, on a scale of 1 to 10, how GERARD BUTLER do you feel at the moment?
“About a high 7?”
We leave the falafel stand and Michael turns to Jacqui: ‘there was a suspicious man by the Mac and Cheese stall looking at you. We had to get out of there.’
‘Oh I know him! He went to my summer camp,’ says Jacqui.
Another crisis averted. This shit is TENSE.
We’re keeping a tight schedule for maximum lunch time summer fun – which means now it’s Jacqui’s daily run. And of course, her bodyguard’s gotta come with.
He’s wearing Gucci shoes, which aren’t ideal, but he does his duty because he’s a goddamn professional.
McFlurry time! It’s really hot, so we need an *iCE cReAm BrEaK* because we are v sensible adults AND because we wanna try out our new bodyguard in all the most important situations.
Michael says the celebs he’s usually protecting don’t go to Maccy D’s but push for Harrods instead. Whatevs.
What’s the biggest danger in here? Michael silently taps the yellow ‘Caution! Wet Floor’ sign. We are more vigilant.
Jacqui, do you feel safe while eating your McFlurry?
“Yes, very safe.”
Were you worried at any point that it could be poisoned?
“There were some dodgy looking people in here but after my bodyguard tasted it I felt much better.”
How Gerard Butler do you feel now?
“8.5 out of 10 because of the sugar high.”
Even photocopying gets super high stakes with your own body guard around. Michael, what’s the biggest cause for concern around here in the office?
“This guy sitting here,” says Michael, pointing to our intern, “definite danger. He’s come over way too many times already. I’ll see him in the morning.”
Time for a well earned drink to digest a VERY INTENSE day. Michael accompanies Jacqui to the pub near our office. We get served straight away AND get a raised eyebrow thrown in for free!
We ask Michael the bodyguard what the most dangerous thing in the pub is.
“See, a pub like this, it’s very chilled. No one seems to be drunk – he’s the only person, so he sticks out like a sore thumb,” says Michael, gesturing over to a worse-for-wear old man at the bar who has already come over and exclaimed a toothless MAMMA MIA! at us.
Jacqui, how Gerard Butler do you feel now?
“It’s climbing by the minute. Maybe because I had a bit of alcohol. A strong 9. I feel like I might be able to fight someone. And I’ve learnt things now.”
Home time = a packed trip on the Northern line. NATURALLY Jacqui’s bodyguard goes with. Not even the packed heatwave-suffering tube is a match for our guy.
This turned out to be less a prank, more something Jacqui could probably get used to every day. McDonalds, the photocopier, Camden market, the tube – they’ll never feel so safe again.
And importantly, what safety tips does Michael have for Jacqui after his day of protection ends?
“Change your desk and your route to work each day. People get used to your same movements. You want to be unpredictable, says Michael, “on paper, this looked like one of the most difficult jobs I’ve had. But it’s turned out relatively easy.”
PHEW. After all that we need a lie down. With one eye open, naturally.
- London Has Fallen is out now on Blu-ray, DVD and digital platforms, courtesy of Lionsgate Home Entertainment