Monday: Pop Shots
Elton helps out Tom Chaplin, Madge angers child welfare groups and will Pete quit pop?
Charity groups have launched a protest against Madonna's attempts to adopt Malawian baby David Banda (the cutest thing ever to don a shell suit).
They're not happy that Madge has fast-tracked the application process nor that she allegedly picked little Davie after being emailed pictures of 11 different babies to choose from.
A problem with the little un's passport meant that Madge couldn't take him home last week but the singer is hoping to have her new tot in the UK this week.
Geri Halliwell meanwhile has told mates she fears she's being stalked. A police source told the Daily Mirror, "She has seen the same person following her several times and it's making her jittery."
The former Spicey one is reportedly taking advice on how to tighten security at her 2m mansion.
Celebrity fairy godmother Elton John has been sprinkling his magic dust again - after we revealed he saved Just Jack from the dumper, last week, now comes news he's helping Keane singer Tom Chaplin fight his demons.
The superstar has been in regular contact with the indie frontman according to the Daily Mirror.
Finally come stories that Pete Doherty is planning to quit Babyshambles.
According to the Sunday Mirror the singer has been in talks with his old record label 'Rough Trade' about inking a solo deal.
Sources say he'd quit the band for the sake of his lady Kate Moss who fears he'll turn to drugs again if he stays with band.
And so the Mocherty saga rumbles on...