Marnie Simpson Vows To Never Have Anal Sex: 'I'm Closing The Door On It Forever'

Marnie Simpson has revealed the one practise on Earth that she'd "never, ever" take part in and it turns out she's not on board with the amount of preparation that goes into having anal sex.

The Geordie Shore gal has revealed that there are just too many things to worry about when it comes to doing the deed and that she has major concerns about "pooing on someone" if it all goes wrong.

Let's all get checking out the moment Marnie opened up about her honest opinion of anal sex...

In a chat with Celebrity Sex Pod, Marnie announced: "I've cleared up the fact that I will never, ever do anal. Come on Pod, that can't be very nice. Being all sexy and that and then pooing on someone?" she argued.

The voiceover then pointed out that there are methods Marnie could practise that would reduce the chance of this happening: "Marnie, there is something you could do called douching which would lessen the likelihood of poo," it began. 

But Marnie was having absolutely none of it. "Yeah but come on, that's too much effort. What if I'm just horny and I just want it right there, right then," she questioned. "Have I got to go to the bathroom and douche?"

After a VT that describes the optimum temperature to douche with and the risk of using water that's scalding hot, Marns became more and more convinced that anal isn't for her: "It sounds dangerous, just like I thought," she insisted. 

Confirming that no amount of discussion is ever going to change her mind on this one, Marnie declared once and for all: "I'm closing the door on anal forever."

So that's that. The (back)door is well and truly closed. 

Don't miss Celebrity Sex Pod, Wednesdays at 10pm on 5STAR, and pencil in 29th August for Geordie Shore series 15 on MTV. 

Now let's all get checking out the Geordie Shore cast talking sex dilemmas on Celebrity Sex Pod...