Thursday: Pop Shots!
Madge bags a gong, Kasabian lose dosh and Mel B gets scary...
Preggers Mel B has roped in hot shot LA lawyer, Don Engel -who's represented Cher and Meatloaf in the past - to fight her unchivalrous ex Eddie Murphy in court.
As we all know, the one-time funny man questioned the paternity of Mel's unborn tot on live television and hit the town with a new love before telling Mel personally their 6-month relationship was over.
And now, according to the Daily Mirror, the former Scary Spice wants to get even. A pal told the tab, "Mel is refusing to lie down... She wants to hit him where it hurts - in the pocket. And they don't come much better than Don."
LA boffs reckon Mel could get as much as 15m in lifelong payments. Nice.
Elsewhere, after reports she's on the verge of signing a whopping 5m US record deal comes news that Leona's single has gone gold, selling more 350,000 copies in the past few days.
Let's hope the innocent young X Factor princess never bumps into Mr Murphy during her musical journey.
In other news the Daily Star reports hard-living Leicester lads Kasabian were left gutted after being snubbed by a band of dancing dwarves.
The little people troupe were booked to perform as Christmas elves at the rockers' after-gig party in London on Tuesday night (December 19) - but they didn't turn up or refund the 1000 the boys had shelled out for them.
There's a lesson in there somewhere...
And finally The Sun's Bizarre Reader Awards have been announced with Justin Timberlake bagging Best Male, Madge Best Female, Lily Allen Best Newcomer and Take That Best Comeback.
5ive will be surprised...