Michelle Rodriguez Admits She Was 'Jealous' That Paul Walker Died First

Michelle Rodriguez has opened up about the death of her close friend and co-star Paul Walker, and the pain that she went through following his tragic accident.

The Furious 7 actress found herself in a deep struggle in November 2013, when Paul passed away from injuries he sustained in a car crash.

Now, speaking in upcoming documentary The Reality Of Truth, Michelle admits she's 'jealous' of him.

"I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal. Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism?"

Adding: "Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that?

"I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I'll tell you that my Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here. It wasn't a sadness that he's gone, it's more like a jealousy that he's there first."

She admits she went off the rails, trying her hardest to feel alive again.

"I actually went on a bit of a binge. I went crazy a little bit …. I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind."

"I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was travelling and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling," Michelle explained.