13 Things Women’s Clothes Need More Of
Oh don't even get us started
It’s no secret that the female fashion industry can be kind of problematic. Y’know, what with the constant perpetuating of body image issues, never-ending lack of inclusivity and various other damaging aspects that need to be addressed asap.
But on a smaller scale, there’s also a whole lot of little, everyday problems within women’s clothing that are just frickin’ infuriating af.
Check out every time Kylie Jenner proved she's the queen of the selfie below...
For example, where the pockets at?
We’re about to get ranty up in here, because there’s SO many things that the high street gets very, very wrong when it comes to women’s clothing. Boobs are mistreated, periods are ignored, and slogan choices are often so bad that it leaves you wondering how to unsee a t-shirt.
Hold on tight, because it’s time to go IN on 13 super annoying, oh so real things that women’s clothing really needs more of, please. And make it snappy.
1. Handy pockets to put emergency tampons in
The majority of female human beings need to keep a tampon on them, so why have clothing companies not figured out that somewhere to stash 'em would be helpful?
Keeping them in your bag is all very well and good, but what happens if you feel THE FEELING when you left your bag somewhere else?
Petition for all dresses, jeans and jackets to have one tiny, handy tampon-sized pocket popped into the lining to help save our light coloured undies from disaster.
2. In fact, just more pockets in general tbh
What is it with men getting all of the effing pockets in the fashion industry? They get them in their jeans (front and back both useable), their t-shirts, their jackets...
Meanwhile, girls are left emotionally betrayed and confused by either tiny, shallow pockets that fit NOTHING inside, the travesty that is fake pockets, or zero pocket action altogether.
It's a pocket patriarchy. We could probably write a pretty good heartfelt ballad entitled 'The Pockets I Never Had.'
3. Backs that actually allow you to wear a bra
There's a big night out on the cards and you've found the perfect dress. Hallelujah.
But wait a dang minute... There's some kind of criss cross, loop de loop, plunging crochet macrame origami action going on back there, that leaves you with no choice but to go bra-less. WHYYY.
A venn diagram showing dresses you like, and dresses that can be worn with a bra would probably show ZERO overlap.
4. Jeans with a normal thigh to waist ratio
Hands in the air if you have ever found a pair of jeans that you're able to pull up comfortably over your thighs and your bum, but that still also fits snuggly around your waist.
Lol no. If you put your hand in the air, then you're a DAMN LIAR because such miracles do not exist. There is no justice in the cruel world of women's jeans.
5. Playsuits with a much-needed wee flap
It's all fun and games when you're wearing a cute playsuit, feeling yourself and wondering why you're not a famous fashion blogger yet... Until you need a wee.
Prepare to strip off and sit completely and utterly naked on the restaurant/bar/club loo, exposed head to toe, hoping and praying to the gods that the lock on the door actually works.
PSA: Put popper-fastened wee flaps in playsuits and save a life.
6. Some built in boob support
If shops are gonna keep insisting on chopping out the shoulders, sides, cut outs, bottoms and backs of all of their clothes, how about they make up for the lack of material with some built-in bra action instead?
It'd solve SO many problems in life if more dresses came with the front part of a bra installed straight into the shape. Won't somebody PLEASE think of the boobs.
7. Slits that don't reveal your entire thigh
Sure, slinky dresses like Bella Hadid's might look like a real good idea on the red carpet, but in reality they're just gonna flash your entire thigh, butt cheek and occasional bit of vag.
Womens clothing needs more reasonably cut silhouettes that don't compromise your vagina remaining safely out of sight, and it needs them NOW.
8. Shorts cut to a length that fights thigh chafing
Never experienced the pain and suffering of chub rub in the summer? Great, you're blessed. Please continue to enjoy wearing your pain-free short shorts that show off an expert amount of arse cheek.
However, if you truly dread the arrival of summer thanks to the small fire that likes to burn between your thighs when wearing shorts or dresses, then you'll relate.
Why are there absolutely no non-ugly, still short but not too short, shorts out there cut to a length that could help prevent the hell that is thigh chafing? Why god, why?
9. Slogan t-shirts that aren't painfully embarrassing
A shopping trip to the high street just isn't complete without spotting a tee on the rails that looks super cute, only to discover something SO CRINGE written across it that you want to curl up and die from second hand embarrassment.
It's usually something about sass, unicorns, squads or pizza, and there might even be sparkly crystals involved.
Message to fashion designers: please stop killing perfectly wonderful tshirts with AWFUL SLOGANS. More cool, ironic, preferably self-deprecating slogans, please.
10. Material that doesn't highlight your bra cup shape
On the rare, magical occasion that you do manage to find a tshirt that doesn't declare your love of naps and mermaids, it then needs to pass the next test.
Is it going to be a flattering fit, or is it going to be that terrible material that clings to you like a weird ex-boyfriend, and shows off the EXACT shape of your bra?
Even the most high tech of t-shirt bras can't fight that cling, so please can we get more tshirts made of decent material? Tah.
11. Any kind of vague size continuity across shops
Um, how come you can go into Topshop and be a 14, H&M and be a 18, River Island and be a 12, and Primark and be a 10 all on the same day? What even is life?
Nothing will kill your spendy shopping vibes quite like a miserable, size-related tantrum in the changing rooms, and brands really need to sort this one out ASAP.
Clothing sizes are complete BS to be honest so if we could get some continuity going on, it'd be appreciated. Yep, that's a sassy tone of voice you can hear right there.
12. Shirts with buttons that stay shut over boobs
The struggle is oh so real when you're just trying to go about your business wearing a button-up, but your boobs say otherwise.
Don't blame your boobs for the popping action though. Blame the crap quality buttons that just can't contain your lovely bod.
We'll say it once and we'll say it again - womens clothing needs buttons that can cope with big boobs.
12. Changing rooms that doesn't make you want to die
And last but not least, can we PLEASE get some selfie-ready, flattering lighting in changing rooms that doesn't perfectly highlight every cellulite dimple, stretch mark and fabulous flabby bit?
Not to mention the fact that you're usually surrounded by dodgy mirrors from every angle that reveal nooks and crannies you didn't even know existed.
How do you expect us to take good changing room Instagrams in these conditions? HONESTLY.
Words by Lucy Wood