Wednesday: Pop Shots!
Paris gets a slapped wrist, Posh gets smelly and Mika gets flamboyant...
Seems like Paris Hilton might join Usher cleaning out bogs/bed pans/streets of New York/insert your own here, after being found guilty of drink-driving.
The one-time best friend of Britney, Li.Lo and Nicole Richie, failed a "sobriety test" while at the wheel last year but has been given a relatively kind 750 fine and 36 months' probation.
The blonde airhead - sorry - heiress has been told she can slash her prob period if she carries out 40 hours worth of community service.
Blimey - a good, old sentencing is cooler than a multi-million squid contract in Hollywood circles these days.
Wonder if Posh will jump on the bandwagon when she moves to LA or whether she'll be happy with her latest whopper deal?
According to the Daily Mirror her and Dave are on the verge of signing a 7m perfume and aftershave deal.
"There's an enormous public appetite over here for David and Victoria," said a source. Those scents had better be good enough to eat then...
On the subject of ex-Spices, Emma Bunton is at the centre of a slightly embarrassing row over an appearance at a bash for radio industry bods.
According to the Daily Star's insider, the Strictly Come Dancing hopeful wanted 3000 from the Radio Centre Members Conference organisers for "singing lessons as she hasn't performed for a while."
However Em's peeps have hit back. "The money that was asked for was just to cover costs," they harrumphed. "Of course she doesn't need singing lessons, that's ridiculous!"
And finally, a heart-warming tale from man of the moment, and MTV-backed newbie superstar, Mika - he's borrowed his idol, the late Freddie Mercury's expensive piano to record an acoustic version of his No 1 hit, 'Grace Kelly'.
And he hasn't looked back.
"He felt totally inspired," a source told the Daily Mirror. "He felt the spirit of Freddie surround him and said he felt more creative than he ever had."
Let's just hope he sticks to his own smart clothes and isn't inspired to stray into Freddie-favoured leather skirts and feather dusters territory...