10 Ways To Get Over Trump Blues
Good luck, guys.
The big day has arrived… it’s Donald Trump’s inauguration. Yep, a dramatic and unpredictable TV personality has made it into the White House and is going to be one of the most powerful people in the world.
Ok sure, he’s a business man and people like that he’s a breath of fresh air from the usual Presidential candidates. But ya know what? There’s nothing refreshing about “grabbing” women by the “pussy”, building walls to cut off Mexicans moving to the US, and quite frankly being RIDICULOUSLY inappropriate.
We know that Trump becoming President means that there are lot of people who like him (IKR). But this is for all you guys who are despairing AF right now. Here is our guide on how to get over a bad case of Trump blues.
1. Have a bubble bath
Ah the simplicity of a hot frothy bath. If you plunge deep into the bubbles and close your eyes, you can take yourself far, far away to the land of President Hillary Clinton, where human decency is still an aim and TV personalities remain people that you snort at whilst binging on Maltesers.
Make your bedroom a haven of peace, with fairy lights and unicorn toys. Add Pot Noodles, a microwave and a makeshift toilet and you need never venture out there again.
3. Build a dartboard
For those of you with more violent tendencies, a personalised dart board or piñata will help you on your way to recovery. Simply print out a smug picture of Trump, stick it on, then either shower it with arrows or obliterate it with a rounders/ baseball bat. This may not, ultimately, make you feel much better.
Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Release those feel-good chemicals with a slab or two of your favourite chocolate bar. Or two whole ones. Body over mind, guys, it’s a thing.
Music has healing powers, and there are plenty of appropriate songs you can listen to that will highlight your grief and help you bawl out the pain. Try the Black Eyed Peas’ Where Is The Love or alternatively boost yourself up with some Beyoncé beats. Although Run The World seems a bit ironic at a time like his…
Maybe you could take escapism one step further and hide in your wardrobe for as long as possible, hoping that Narnia will open up to you. If this works you will be able to spend the rest of your days riding on Aslan and dancing with centaurs. Ideal.
7. History books
This doesn’t sound like a good time, no, but history books will remind you that society often goes in cycles, and that bad times give way to good times eventually. Unless Trump activates a nuclear missile, starts a nuclear war, and causes the apocalypse. In which case, our pain and suffering will at least be over soon anyway.
There are protests you can go to that will help you feel like your voice is powerful, for example the Women’s March on Saturday. And it's not just for women, men are more than welcome. HELP US.
9. Imagine Trump in his underpants
Slightly babyish technique, and possibly unnecessary – he does already tend to make himself look ridiculous.
But imagining him making speeches in his underpants does take the edge off, and will make you forget how scary it is that a man who's boasted about sexually assaulting women won the election. Almost.
10. Watch an uplifting film
Forrest Gump, Slumdog Millionaire, even Harry Potter (especially the hilarious first few when all the actors are tiny and struggling to act). All of these remind us that life is BEAUTIFUL and worth living, even when you’re receiving ridiculous regular updates from Trump’s Twitter account.
Basically, there’s no easy way to get over the fact that the man running one of the most powerful countries in the world is a misogynist and encourages intolerance and division.
BUT the only way is up and, let’s be fair, it has taken our minds off this whole Brexit thing (but that’s another guide for another day). It can be upsetting when the person in power isn't who you hoped it would be, but it just means you've got to fight that bit harder for what you believe in.
It’s not the end of the world yet, guys, we’ll survive.