24 Thoughts We Had Re-Watching The Pretty Little Liars Pilot
"Ali, did you download the new Beyoncé?"
What with Pretty Little Liars coming to an end this year, we’re feeling pretty nostalgic about the last seven (yep, SEVEN) years we’ve spent dedicated to this show.
So, now that season 7B is finally here, we decided to re-watch the first ever episode of PLL to see just how much the Liars, and this bloody incredible show in general, has changed. OOOH, we’re excited…
1. Oh my god it’s 0.001 seconds in and a song by 3OH!3 is playing. I’m going to feel old as hell by the end of this pilot, aren’t I??
2. “Ali, did you download the new Beyonce?” Not only is this the perfect line to explain how 'hip' this show is, but it also doubles as a gay jibe at Emily. This first episode isn’t messing around.
3. THE GIRLS ALL LOOK SO YOUNG. Lucy Hale looks approximately seven. Fun fact, Sasha Pieterse is actually 12 freaking years old in this episode. 12.
4. Spencer’s first season looks are suuuuuper on the nose, aren’t they? Surely no 16-year-olds wear full business-wear to school. She looks like she’s in a Harry Potter Halloween costume at one point.
5. Omg, we’re already at Hollis Bar and Grill. It’s extra creepy being introduced to Ezra knowing now that he was fully seducing a girl he knew was underage in a bar toilet. Ian Harding’s kissing is just as awkward as it is in season 7.
6. The music in this pilot is wild, y’all. The sassy jingling happening during Hanna’s introduction (where she steals some sunglasses) is too much.
7. FYI, the Byron cheating storyline is still so boring but at least it leads to the first flashback with Ali, during which she runs away from geeky Mona. You’re gonna regret that, giiiirl.
8. A TEXT ALERT. It begiiiiins. It’s for Aria and she reads it on a flip phone. It might as well be 1934.
9. Oooh look it’s Maya, and she’s smoking ~marijuana~ like the cool teens on TV shows do. I was clearly never one of said cool kids since I just had to Google how to spell marijuana.
10. The second A message pops up in Emily’s gym locker, with a note about her having new friends to kiss. ‘Who is this A person,’ we asked seven years ago… and we’ve been asking it ever since.
11. Yep, shirtless Wren is massaging a bikini-clad Spencer in the middle of her kitchen. The predatory male vibe gets set up way early in this show.
12. Ding ding ding – Spencer gets an A-tagged email about wanting Melissa’s boyfriends. Classic and accurate.
13. Raise a glass to prototype Ian. Bet that actor’s gutted about missing out on getting to play a guy who secretly records teenage girls in their bedrooms.
14. Hanna watching Ali and Spencer arguing through a glass door and eating the cookie Ali just told her not to eat is everything to me.
Like I genuinely just made this picture my screensaver.
15. Ashley Marin is here and she’s got a fringe and she’s drinking water. I don’t like it.
16. However, Detective Wilden clearly likes the fringe… If you know what I mean.
17. Hanna’s first A message reads: ‘Be careful, Hanna. I hear prison food makes you fat.’ GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.
18. I know that they’re about to find ‘Ali’s’ body and all, but I am so distracted by how short Emily’s skirt is. Pam would NOT approve, young lady.
19. The Liars regroup and promise they still won’t talk about The Jenna Thing. Alternatively, I never stop talking about The Jenna Thing. I could write a dissertation on The Jenna Thing.
20. Seven years later and I’m still really not OK with Ashley letting Hanna watch her get sexily manhandled by Wilden to show her that she’s fixing her shoplifting drama. Not healthy, you guys.
21. Aria and Ezra find some time at Ali’s funeral to start ferociously making out. Always classy, our Ezria.
22. Prototype Mrs. DiLaurentis looks like she came straight out of The O.C. Give us Andrea Parker any day of the week.
23. Hanna brings a flask to the funeral, and just in time too, because THE JENNA THING JUST WALKED IN. And contrary to Aria’s later quote from season 3, bitch can NOT see.
24. The Liars and their inappropriate funeral attire get their first joint A message and read it in perfect unison. The camera zooms in on Ali’s memorial headshot. I die.
Holy Mona, this pilot holds up so freaking well. Truly iconic. I am shook (and off to re-watch every other episode, because PLL is life, bitches).
Words: Charlotte Warwick