The PLL GIF guide to dealing with the crap Christmas presents you’re gonna get this year
Uber A wouldn't stand for a selfie stick.
Christmas in Rosewood raises a lot of questions. Will we ever sleep again after that time Mona was the ghost of Christmas past? Nope. When do we get our own Caleb in teeny tiny Santa shorts? Please. How come the Liars get to go to an actual ICE BALL and we have to go to Uncle Ted’s cold turkey buffet? Life.
But on the plus side, Pretty Little Liars is also very handy when it comes to Christmas. Not only does it teach us how to deal with any raving stalker loonies set out to ruin our lives during December, but it also provides us with a whole load of GIFs to perfectly illustrate the festive season.
No, seriously. Here’s the very useful, very accurate PLL GIF guide to dealing with all the shit presents that you’re gonna get this year. Merry Xmas, bitches.
1. When your Auntie, three cousins and two grandmas arrive laden with shiny prezzies.
This is it, you think to yourself. The mother load. But after a mountain of wrapping paper and a drip-feed of disappointment, you open them all to reveal a selfie stick, novelty reindeer earrings and a purple candle that smells kinda like toilet cleaner.
2. When you’re contemplating breaking the cold, hard truth to your own mother.
You just DON’T LIKE COTTON NIGHT DRESSES ANYMORE. Please stop buying them every year, Mum. Then we can all move on with our lives and finally sleep in some decent loungewear. Except you can’t tell her, so that will never happen.
3. When you’ve been out on Christmas Eve until the wee hours of the 25th, and it feels like ten Prosecco-shaped reindeer are clicking merrily across the roof of your brain.
But then your extremely excited mum leans over you in bed with a stocking full of presents and a Santa hat on her head, and you have to wake up and be JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT.
4. When you’re convinced - literally convinced - that this one is the best one.
It’s the biggest, at the back, and therefore the best. But then you open it to find a smaller box inside, and then a smaller box in that one, and then another one in that one, until you get through 18 boxes to find a packet of chocolate ‘reindeer poo’ inside. Cheers Dad.
5. When you tear the paper off a rather promising looking, heavy present
Arty coffee table book, maybe? A full set of YSL lipsticks in fancy packaging? NOPE. You reveal a Super Lean, Super Green, Quinoa Based Cookbook of DELICIOUS HEALTHY 5 SECOND MEALS. Right. Where’s my selection box, please.
6. When your Nan presents you with Shark Tale on DVD and a full six pack of Watermelon Bacardi Breezers that she’s chuffed with.
She remembered you asked for one on Christmas Day 2007 so she knew you really liked them, love.
7. It’s… it’s… IT’S… A PRINCESS ELSA ONESIE, SOCKS DESIGNED TO LOOK LIKE SANDALS AND BACON FLAVOURED CHOCOLATE BRUSSELL SPROUTS.
Lol so random, from your favourite weird-smelling step-cousin who you literally only see for three hours on December 25th.
8. When you and your sibling both open matching light-up jumpers which also play a barely recognisable bit of Jingle Bells when you press Santa on the arse.
You wonder why you were both cursed with this family. You wonder why you can’t just have a normal Christmas. You wonder if other parents are like this.
9. When you watch your mum open six floaty scarves, a floral ironing board cover, three bottles of jasmine body lotion and a Mary Berry cake tin and you wonder how she still manages to look like she’s enjoying Christmas every year.
10. A FOOT SPA.
YOU LIKE BEAUTY AND STUFF. IT’S WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED, DARLING.
11. When you open what you thought was definitely a new pair of shoes but was actually a spiralizer.
And your brother laughs his head off and shouts “OH SHE’S ALREADY GOT ONE OF THEM.” Stop, please, help. You’re making this so much more awkward than it needs to be. Pretend to love it, move on. This never happened.
12. When you see the full line-up of pink bubble baths, dissolvable bath petals, cupcake-shaped bath bombs plus vanilla cookie scented bath gel...
...And start thinking about the horrendous allergic reactions you’re inevitably gonna have to all of it.
13. When you open yet another pair of fluffy socks with slightly cross-eyed penguins on them. And then a pair with polar bears on them. And then a third pair with Father Christmas on them. And then a pair featuring mince pies with googly eyes.
How many feet do you think I own, family?
14. And last but not least, when you FINALLY start opening the stuff from someone very clever, who’s been reading your blog for ideas and noticed the very detailed, very handy wish list that you created back in September.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
- Words by Lucy Wood.
Wanna know what YouTubers are getting for xmas? Watch this video then...