Pretty Little Liars Season 7: 13 Things We Learned From ‘These Boots Were Made For Stalking’
To the shoe cobbler!
As with all half seasons of Pretty Little Liars, not every episode can be an edge of your seat thrill ride. Yes, this was one of those episodes.
But for every torture barn flashback we got of Hanna, we also got some great one-liners (“how are you with tabbouleh?”) – and to be fair, there was quite a lot going on here in the pursuit of #endgame. Here’s what we learned…
1. Hanna gets PTSD from a dress
Hanna’s fashion designer dreams are actually starting to become a reality (thanks to Mona). But the second she bags an ‘it’ girl to wear one of her designs, naturally it all goes to shit.
Just when you start to think that her little black tutu number has some extremely juicy backstory, it turns out she just took some advice on the design from her old boss, so is worried about calling it her own.
I’m sorry, but unless it’s got finger bones in it (classic season 4), we don’t care about this dress.
2. Aria can’t bring herself to say Nicole’s name, which seems healthy
Nicole has officially become Aria’s Voldemort, but which one will die so the other can live? 100% Nicole.
3. Holden’s still around and is bringing all the Ezria shade
“Just because you met him in 11th grade doesn’t mean he’s frozen in amber”. Holden is the king of defending Ezra while also completely bodying him.
4. There’s a new Ali in town, and she’s about 7 years old
Ah, yes. Addison Derringer. The Degrassi: Next Generation of the PLL world. We see you with your cool eye make up and your choker... you make us feel old.
5. Actual Emily Fields is accused of being a predator
The cruel irony of this when Ezra is still walking around engaged to his former student is not lost on us.
6. The Jenna Thing has returned to Rosewood, and she has balls the size of church bells
At least according to Spencer. Oh, and adding to the list of insane things Jenna can do, let’s go ahead and put ‘hearing Spencer breathe’ below ‘smelling blood’.
7. Jenna claims to the police that she was Noel’s victim
She turns on the waterworks and goes in on Noel being a sociopath, which is a pretty good strategy considering his dismembered head can’t really defend itself.
8. Later, Jenna waltzes through Radley wearing Hanna’s dress design
Such a classic season 1 move. But why is this version of the dress white? And can we get one in a size 12?
9. Emily plays A.D’s board game to get more info on Addison
A.D shows her security footage of Addison getting high with her boyfriend when she should’ve been at swim practice, which is fine I guess, but why the hell does A.D care about this small town stuff again?
10. Aria tries to visit Nicole but Holden stops her at the last second
That salt water taffy’s going to have to go to waste. Also, we’re building up to some sort of Holden red herring sitch, right?
11. Hanna gets PTSD (for real this time) after getting trapped in a shoe repair shop
Nope, we can’t believe we just wrote that sentence either.
12. Emily goes off on mini Alison and then broods in front of a mirror
Honestly, Emily doesn’t even go that hard on her, but apparently it’s enough to warrant a Dark Em preview.
Cue the text from A.D telling her to ‘embrace to darkness’. Yaaaas, give me some Shay Mitchell smoky eye and crack some skulls, girl.
13. Emily is rewarded with another puzzle piece and Spencer reckons the image is forming a map
Do the Liars need to find something or someone to finally achieve #endgame? LOOKS LIKE IT. 8 episodes to go, bitches!
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