Pretty Little Liars Season 7: 11 Things We Learned From ‘Tick Tock, Bitches’
Oh yes, PLL is back and it’s going bigger than EVER. This is what went down in episode one of season 7…
After waiting approximately 84 years, Pretty Little Liars FINALLY returned to our telly screens (well, Netflix accounts) this week.
And considering just how many times we’ve been told about operation #SaveHanna in the last few months, we’d never been so ready to get going and SAVE HER ALREADY.
So after an absolute rollercoaster of a season opener, here’s 11 things we learned from Tick Tock, Bitches. SPOILERS AHEAD, OBVS…
1. Hanna is very much alive
I’m sorry, but if you even thought it was a possibility that Hanna would be dead, then shame on you.
Naturally, Hanna was discovered to be totally of the living (PLL wouldn’t be PLL without Ashley Benson) but also not in the best shape ever, because she’s been locked up in Doll House 2.0.
2. Apparently five years in the future (or whatever), people use Apple watches to read out their threatening messages
Let’s not pretend we even know what year it is in Rosewood anymore, but seriously Spencer, YOU'RE BETTER THAN THE APPLE WATCH.
3. We are slightly done with ‘masks’ being the answer to everything
Okay, we get it, this new A is good at crafts but please, we cannot deal with these Scooby Doo shenanigans all season.
4. Evil English people like to come home from a long day of being a sociopath and switch on the British News Service
That is SO US.
5. Oh and (fake) doctors can just go ahead and treat their wives in a psychiatric hospital nowadays
We’ve seen enough Grey’s Anatomy to know that this just isn’t true.
6. Caleb is officially a class A douche
We get it, Caleb, you’re still in love with Hanna. But if you hang up on Spencer Hastings one more time, we will slice you like one of those ridiculous skin masks.
7. You know what, forget that whole love triangle thing anyway because #Spenna are forever
Did Spencer handily happen to appear in Hanna’s dream in order to damage control this whole Haleb reunion essentially breaking up Spencer and Hanna’s friendship? Sure, but we guess we’ll take it.
Also, way to finally escape an A situation like an absolute boss, Hanna. Seven seasons in and we’re all finally starting to learn that running away is an option.
8. The MVP award goes to Aria for abandoning her one job to hook up with Ezra
WHAT A PAL! EZRIA IS DEFINITELY WORTH HANNA ALMOST DYING FOR!
9. Emison is ~rising~, people
If you didn’t go into anaphylactic shock when the Emison kissing flashback scene happened, then you have no soul.
10. Buuuut it kind of doesn’t matter, because now Alison’s being blamed for Charlotte’s death
Don’t you hate it when that happens?
DID Ali actually kill her sister? Well, it’s episode one, so we’re going to go ahead and say no – but still, that didn’t stop Caleb from giving her ass up to AD as soon as he physically could. What a guy.
Also, not to say ‘we told we so’, but ALI WE EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU, ‘DO NOT CHECK IN TO THAT MENTAL HOSPITAL’.
11. So… we guess Dr. Rollins is AD
This whole Uber A, AD and Mary Drake thing is way too complicated for us, but judging purely by this episode, we’ll go ahead and assume Dr. Rollins was the one out to find Charlotte’s real killer.
Because he loved her, or something. URGH, who knows.
But honestly, who even cares about A at this point (us, we really do care) – all that matters is that Pretty Little Liars is back in our lives and we are in for a wild ‘ol time.
Seriously though, somebody get Hanna some trousers.
Pretty Little Liars Seasons 1-6 are available in full on Netflix now. Season 7 episode 1 is also available, with each further episode added weekly.
You can sign up to a free month here.