How Not To Be A Dick At Pride If You’re Straight
Pride weekend can be a pretty interesting experience for any first-timer.
Losing your mates who insist they’re ‘next to the big rainbow flag,’ Tesco Express severely underestimating the demand for gin in a tin, the fact that Sinitta could pop up unannounced at any moment; all very real struggles.Now obviously hardened gays like myself can take all this in their stride, but what about the straight folk of this world? How can those in the 90-or-whatever-statistics-say percent of the population do Pride without risk of raining on the other 10’s literal parade?
I’m here to help, heterosexuals. Follow these simple rules and celebrate being a human being with us LGBTQ+ lot without, y’know, offending anyone.DON’T assume everyone’s coming on to you
Ah, the age old issue that’s only magnified at Pride. Contrary to popular belief, homosexuals can actually interact with heterosexuals of the same sex without feeling the need to shag them. If he/she/they flirt with you then CONGRATULATIONS, you’re fit. Take it.Oh and while we’re at it, DON’T gay bait
I’ve fallen for the gay-for-a-day, got-a-bit-carried-away straight guy one too many times. Andy from Manchester Pride 2012; I saw a FUTURE for us. You, my friend, are a cock tease of the highest order.
We can get very attached. Don’t switch up your sexuality unless you mean it.DO keep an open mind
As much as people rant and rave that ‘IT’S 2016,’ stereotypes still exist and they’re still lazy af. My boyfriend has never seen an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, verbally proclaimed ‘yaaas’ or choreographed a dance routine to Fifth Harmony in his life yet still, somehow, claims to be gay. Unbelievable.
Basically it’s best to leave all judgement at home. We’ll always find a way to surprise you anyway.DON’T stockpile the spritzers
Be selfless. These adorable, miniature cans of pre-mixed drinks have gotta get thousands of us through the afternoon; don’t be that person who nabs all the G&Ts and leaves me with nothing but a Bellini, yeah?
DO remember today is not about you
This is the LGBTQIAPK community’s day. We love having you there, showing you’re an ally to us all, but leave the drama at the door. Do feel free to ask questions (we love talking about this), but be sensitive and make time to listen to our answers without telling us ‘you know EXACTLY what it’s like’.
Chances are you don’t.DON’T forget what all this is in aid of
Pride’s kinda like Christmas in that, sometimes, the whole point of it can get lost in this garish cloud of glitter.
I get it; a bunch of rowdy boys forced to piss in a street urinal next to a group of girls slurring along to Sorry might not exactly scream ‘liberation;’ but I can guarantee everyone’s down at Pride with one purpose. To celebrate the growing acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community and fight for progression.
The recent Orlando tragedy means it’s more important than ever to give us gays two days to shake off any stigmas still associated with our sexuality. Join us, campaign with us, paint your face with a rainbow that won’t come off till next Thursday with us. This is a celebration of how far we’ve come and a reminder of how far we’ve got to go.
- By Carl Smith.