11 People Who Are More Hopeless At Dating Than You
From borrowing a two-year-old to downing shots in the middle of a car park.
Some people are just born to thrive in social situations while others sift through around 147 conflicting thoughts in their brain before selecting the worst one possible to speak aloud.
For anyone who has ever wanted to grab the breadsticks and run away from their own awkward behaviour, take heart in the fact that nobody could be as bad at dating as the following eleven people.
Let's get checking out if a bunch of adults can pass a GCSE exam...
1. The person who wanted to talk conspiracy theories
Nothing quite gets the sparks flying like an in-depth debate about whether the moon is actually a block of cheese or if Elvis Presley is currently sipping piña coladas in Hawaii.
2. The person who asked future bae for their email address
Forget Snapchat and Instagram. The sign of a healthy and long-lasting relationship is sending each other spreadsheets, GIFs and powerpoint presentations over the oh so romantic portal of Gmail.
3. The person who crowdsourced a two-year-old
Ah, we've all done it. Reeled someone in under false pretences, and then found ourselves up shit creek without a paddle when the lie spins dangerously out of control.
4. The person who did shots before their dinner date
Pro tip #1: Don't get caught downing your third Jagerbomb before the date has even commenced.
5. The person who played their entire hand at once
If dating is a game of push and pull until you both figure out you like each other, we'd advise against rushing in with a declaration of love before the starters come out.
6. The person who misinterpreted literally everything
That's right, you're not the only person whose brain eats itself alive in the company of an attractive person.
7. The person who critiqued their partner's appearance
As a general rule, discussing receding hairlines on a first date is pretty much a no-go area.
8. The person who didn't even bother to conceal their weird
We're no expert, but foot fetish revelations should probably be kept under wraps until date three.
9. The person who gave a guided tour of their entire house
Oh look, it's time to leave potential bae feeling unsettled at best and downright terrified at worst. Reassuring.
10. The person with literally the worst dating strategy of all time
In an attempt to play things totally cool, nothing works quite so well as completely ghosting a person and then wondering why they never bothered to chase you up about it.
11. The person who probably CBA to chew their own food
This lazy soul could probably win an Olympic medal for spending 98% of their day horizontal and the other 2% cursing the size of a regular human bladder.
So there it is. Proof that nobody has a clue what they're doing when they head into a first date.