12 things anyone who's ever had housemates will feel on a spiritual level
The ‘full bin’ stand-off, washing up fails and more.
Thanks to sky-high rental rates, and the almost impossible task of getting on the property ladder without parental help and/or saving for 60 years, more and more of us are living in shared housing for longer and longer.
What does this mean? It means housemates. And no matter who you live with, there’s some things that anyone who has ever had a housemate will just get. On a spiritual level.
The toilet paper battle.
Who buys it? Who’s turn is it? WHY is it always you left scrabbling around for a face-wipe or some kitchen roll when the last roll runs out? Hello, simmering resentment.
Every housemate has done it. You get home. You hungry. You could go to the shop, sure - but oh look, Sandra’s done a ‘big shop’ and the fridge is so nice and full. Almost too full, one might say. Surely she’s not going to miss a single avocado and a slice or two of bread. It’s fine, you’ll replace it anyway. Maybe.
People ‘borrowing’ your food.
What the actual f*** where the f*** is my f****** avocado? She’s stolen it again hasn’t she, the thieving sloth. Gonna start hiding stuff in that bottom fridge drawer nobody uses. Gonna start labelling my things. Gonna st- oh, did Jenny buy wine? Surely she won’t mind me pouring one tiny glass. It is already open after all.
The bin stand-off.
It’s full. It’s been full for a day or so now. Sandra’s started using a scrappy little plastic bag as a temporary substitute. Why didn’t she just take the full one out instead? Because it’s a stand-off, that’s why. She took it out last time and she will be damned - DAMNED - if she does a back-to-back bin run. Meanwhile, you’re just too busy to run it out right now OK? If Sandra had time to make a little placcy bin, she had time to empty the real one. Petty. She’s being petty. But two can play that game. Oh, yes they can.
Constantly wondering if your roommate got the better bedroom is par for the course. On the one hand, the upstairs neighbours always seem to stomp the loudest above your room. On the other, she’s got that weird stain on the carpet that refuses to budge no matter what. Swings and roundabouts.
Picking up each other’s habits.
When you live in close proximity to people it’s easy to sort of morph into one being - using the same phrases, mannerisms, and referencing many an inside joke.
Washing up fail.
There’s always one person who doesn’t seem to understand that the concept of ‘washing up’ means actually ‘washing’. It doesn’t count if it’s still grimy and/or greasy, Jenny. A little rinse under some warm water does not = clean. Did you grow up, or were you dragged up? Sorry, that was mean.
The TV MVP.
If you’re living with housemates, it’s unlikely that more than one of you is paying for Netflix. To the person taking that monthly hit - you tha real MVP. To everyone else: well done, you are winning at life.
You all start watching that new murder show together. It’s great, you all love it. You agree it’ll be your new ‘thing’ for those lazy evenings in. But a week later, you log in to Netflix and - hang on… ‘Play episode 4? EPISODE 4!?’ someone’s been Netflix and cheating, and it’s not OK.
Got housemates? Then at some point during the week, you’re going to be hopping around outside a closed bathroom door dying for a wee, while the oblivious badger you live with enjoys what feels like a 2 hour shower. You knock on the door. ‘One minuteeeee’, comes the sing-song reply. Your bladder. silently. screams.
Oh suuuuure everyone keeps their own rooms tidy (even if somewhat sporadically), but when it comes to the communal areas: kitchen, living room, bathroom - nobody wants to take on the responsibility. Meaning dirt, mess, and general ick-iness. Lovely.
You all pay for different things, swearing you’ll work out who owes what at the end of each month, like good little accountants. In reality, 6 months down the line you’re sitting at the kitchen table buried under a mass of receipts, trying to remember who paid for those six large pizzas that time you both had a really bad day and needed some carb comfort.
What do you reckon - relate to any of these?
- Words by Lizzie Cox.