12 LOL Valentine's Day Cards That Won't Make You Want To Vom
And if they do we have a sick bag waiting for you babes....
It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and that means flowers, chocolates, romantic dinners and...scheduled sex. Woo.
But it also means getting to buy a not sh*t card that will make you lol, at the very least.
Let Courtney Act do the whole first dates thang for you.....
And we’ve got some beauts to make the day that little bit more bearable for the taken, the single and everyone in between.
1. Number One horcrux card - £2.50
Because what is love without a shared admiration of anything Hazza P?
2. Pardon my hard on card - £2.50
Sometimes you just want to bring a bit of filth to a day of love and that’s okay.
3. Squeeze my melons card - £2.50
Because consent is sexy.
4. Wanna bone? card - £0.50
If you love dogs and have sex with me, I’m yours. PLUS IT IS 50p. FOR GENIUS.
5. Ikea hot dogs card - £2.50
Nothing screams I love you more than admitting that those H dogs aren’t number one in your life.
6. What you want in bed card - £2.50
It doesn’t have to be about being in love with a person. Send this to your single mate (or yourself) because we all know what beats human affection. FOOD.
7. I Love You More Than I Hate Your Farts Card – £2.97
And anyone in a relationship knows as soon as that flips, it’s over.
8. Lady garden card - £2.50
Because this day isn’t just about you, it’s about her too.
9. You tickle my pickle - £2.50
Anyone who does that deserves a card tbh.
10. Roses are red card - £2.50
11. Trollmates card - £2.50
This is the key to a good relationship, romantic or not.
12. Drizzy card - £2.50
If you don’t feel for Drake and his multitude of emotions about stuff then you are a monster.
And if you are going to be doing it this V Day then let Hannah Witton give you her how-to guide....