15 Of The Cringiest Break Up Stories Of All Time
Warning: this is painful AF
When we hear stories of messy break ups our bodies involuntary cringe. It’s just science. The mere thought of that awkward conversation brings the cringe to our souls. But then there are the stories so messy and so awks that they will make you want to dig a hole in the ground and stay there forever.
These are those stories.
But first check out the incred Courtney Act doing First Dates....
It’s a bit like watching The Notebook, sometimes you just need a cry. And other times you just need a cringe, so here's to Reddit's greatest (well, most horrific) break up stories of all time...
1. “She broke up with me over a phone call that didn’t happen”
"Once a woman broke up with me over a very weird conversation...that simply had not ever occurred. She was making references to it. The conversation was apparently over the telephone - I had called her at work. I was dumbfounded. I told her that I didn't remember any of this, that I did not even speak with her that day. She refused to believe me and broke up anyway. I checked my phone bill and the call to her work number on the day she said it happened wasn't there, nor were there ANY calls to her work in the prior three days.
"Maybe she dreamed it? Maybe someone called posing as me? I did not pursue it any further.” - @Mmedical
2. “Sorry no backsies!”
"I started going out with a girl in my first year of uni who at some point after the initial happy period became absolutely insane. She was breaking up with me pretty much every day and screaming at me in public. So I told her that if she broke up with me again then that would be it for good. She doesn't do it for a few weeks, but at which point I'm thinking 'actually I don't really want to be with this girl.'
"Eventually she goes crazy at me again and says, 'That's it you're dumped!!....' realises what's she's said and goes white as a sheet. As she starts saying 'I didn't mean to say it' I just went 'Oh sorry no backsies!' and left." - @SausagePlease
3. “I cheated on her in her dream”
“My ex dumped me because she had dreams of me cheating on her but in reality I wasn't cheating at all. She would spend the day being a total b*tch for something I never did. She would give me the cold shoulder and she won't let me hug or kiss her.
"Eventually she dumped me and claimed the dreams were reoccurring so it had to mean I was cheating on her. I'm happy that’s over, she was getting pretty crazy.” - @JizzOnRainbows
4. “He paged me at the airport”
“I was engaged and went away for the summer to work at a school in America. The whole time, I tried to call my fiancé, but we only connected a few times. On the day I returned, I had a layover in Houston on my way back to Portland. While sitting at my terminal, I was paged over the intercom to pick up the nearest courtesy phone. So, I ambled over and was connected...and it was my fiancé...paging me, at the airport, to tell me he couldn't pick me up in Portland because he'd fallen in love with another woman.
"That happened. Our airport break-up was the last time I spoke to him...” - @sdwescott
5.”You’re a cage and I’m a bird”
“This occurred during my Junior High years. Just think early awkward preteens. Anyways I'm riding the bus home with my 'girlfriend' and we were awkwardly holding hands and then her stop comes up. She looks at me grabs my other hand, kisses my cheek, says, 'you are a cage, and I'm a bird. This is over.' And then she walks away and that was the last time I conversed with her.” - @PYRoBU
6. “He b*tched about me on Reddit”
"I was dating a guy, and I ended it because I just wasn't ready to get as serious as he wanted to be, and I didn't want to lead him on. I tell him in person and he goes and posts something on Reddit, complaining about me.
"Apparently I had horrible parents (my poor mother is in a wheelchair due to severe MS, so she isn't always very happy), and that I complained that he wore flip flops and jeans (he took me on a date once, to a nice place, and wore flip flops and I had just noted it wasn't appropriate attire). Needless to say, I saw the post, it was awkward for him.” - @CONTROLLOL
7. “She found out I was a YouTube troll”
“My ex stopped talking to me one day. Come to find out she read all my troll YouTube comments and was offended. Trolling YouTube cost me a relationship”. - @svperstarr
8. “She broke up with him in a poem”
“A friend of mine in middle school was broken up with by his girlfriend in this poem:
"Roses are red, Violets are blue, Garbage is dumped, and so are you.” - @LoqnessMonster
9. “ He p*ssed over my entire make-up collection”
“He got blind drunk, sleep-walked and pissed over my entire make-up collection. I woke up, shook him awake mid-stream, and he accused me of lying, ran out and I never saw him again.” - @bluntbangs
10. “I got dumped for God”
“Got dumped for God. Literally. Two year relationship and she came over one day and said she needed to spend more time with her relationship with God than ours. She actually did, and didn't date anyone for years.” - Anon.
11. “She spilt soda on me”
“I dumped a girl for spilling soda on me. She knew I hate feeling sticky and did it on purpose.” – Anon.
12. “A medium told her to”
“Not mine but I had to share it. I had an ex that never been in serious relationship. In one of her past relationship, she broke up with one of her boyfriend for the sickest reason i have ever heard. Her mother went to see a medium and they told her that her daughter was in a relationship with a dude that had no soul. She broke up with him the next day because of that.
"Her mother was frequently doing some rituals or meditations type of sh*t, so it was easily believable.” - @crashthis
13. "She sang me a break-up song"
“My girlfriend of a year broke up with me by sending a video of herself singing a break up SONG that she wrote. It included a background dancer of one of my good friends. I was at a party at the time she sent it and I foolishly played it aloud so all my good pals could hear it, and hear my heart break.” - @beingDevisor
14. “She got her step-sister to call me”
"She had her step sister call my parents’ home phone to break up with me. Except my dad answered so she told him it was over. He simply said: 'I think you want to talk to my son.'" - @bpelts
15. She dumped me by hangman”
"A game of hangman. 'I want to be single' was the phrase that I had to guess. Needless to say I cried while walking three miles home.” - @DanielSpanjar