A Beginner's Guide To Butt Stuff
Butt stuff. It’s the sex version of Marmite – you probablyeither love the ideaor hate it, and maybe you keep putting off trying it for the first time because what if it’s awful?
Research collated by Pornhub foundthat between 2009 and 2015, the search for anal sex videos went up a massive 120% on their platforms, so we're obviously all interested, butthere's also more to butt stuff than penis-in-anussex. More and more songs are mentioning anal play like rimming and pegging too, so ifyou've got questions, here's a few pointers for beginners who want the facts on how it all works.
But first, Courtney Act has a few things to say about lube...
What's all the fuss about?
For people with a penis, being penetratedwhen having anal sex can result in a particularly strong orgasm when the prostate (which is located up your arse) is stimulated. For the person with a penis doing the penetrating, the experience can also be great because the anus of their partner is tight meaning it can, again, lead to particularly intense orgasms.
That's definitely not to say that butt stuff isn't enjoyable for those with a vagina either. While you may still need clitoral stimulation to orgasm when having anal sex, it can still feel very enjoyable, both physically and because of theintimate experience it creates with your partner. There's also pegging to consider, which is the practice of using a strap on to penetrate your partner either vaginally or anally and which many of those with a vagina may find enjoyment in.
It's not just about sex either:rimming (or analingus or tossing the salad) is all about oral performed on your butthole. The anus is an erogenous zone full of nerve endings which can make stimulation in the area feel amazing for all genders.
First though, you’ve gotta feel ready
Let’s be real, given the research we've seen, it seems likea LOT of guys – gay and straight alike – are going to want to have anal sex at some point and heavy hints may be dropped. But we cannot stress this enough – only do it if you feel ready for it. Becauseotherwise - as with any form of sex -it maymake you feel physically and mentally uncomfortable.It’s your butt, your call.
It’s best to use a condom
As with any kind of sexual relationship, if it's with a partner who might be having sex with other people or a partner who hasn't had a recent STI test, you're going to want to use protection to make sure neither of you catch or transmit any nasties to each other.
And sure, you defo can’t make a baby this way (amirite, gals?) but sexual health professionals advise that bacteria can easily be transferred from your colon to a penis and vice versa and a condom just helps stop that happening. Oh and for you straight couples, NEVER just swap between butt and vajay in the same session – that’s an infection waiting to happen.
Lube, lube and more lube
If in doubt quote House of Pain (ironic) and their famous rap; 'lube it up, lube it up, let me begin'. Wait, that sounds wrong. Whatever, lube is KEY.
The butt hole is suuuper tiny compared to other orifices so if there's anything going in there -be it a penis, a finger or a sex toy - andit’s not properly lubricated, that shiz is going to hurt like a biatch. Use a thicker consistency one as they don’t dry out as quickly.
You have to relaaaaaax
If you are panicking and tensing up it’s going to feel so much worse. You’re basically making your body tighter, which is the opposite of what you need. Relax like you’re going to poo and things will be a lot less uncomfortable. You won’t. Hopefully. But also if you do, it’s a hazard of the job and your partner asked for it by going in there, so that’s their problem tbh.
Warm up with some toys
If you’re too scared to go full peen at the start then pick out a few smaller items that you can warm up with. Lovehoney.co.uk has a great Beginner’s Anal Kit full of smaller items to ‘ease’ your way in.
The first bit is the worst
The head of the penis is the widest part so it’s bound to be the tightest going in. If you’ve ever had a vagina and straight sex, you’ll remember that it hurts the first time but you do get used to it. Still, if it continues to hurt or feel uncomfortable just stop!
It's also worth remembering that anal you see in porn isn't very realistic. All that pounding would be super painful and actually the aim of the game is to take things slow and gentle.
It's all in the prep work
We’ve all heard the horror stories of people trying anal and ending up pooing on their partner. Yeah, not super sexy. Unless you’re into that. So head for the bathroom to clear yourself out before you try it. Some people also like to douche their butthole in advance, which is basically using a douche to wash things out with some water. Give it a Google if you need more info.
It's worth mentioning that the actual deed itself can feel like you’re going to poo too, because that’s literally what your colon has been used to. If you think it’s about to happen just ask your partner to stop. The more you do it, the more you’ll learn the signs.
Go to the bathroom right after
Just like vaginal sex, it’s best to go to the bathroom after and pee away that bacteria. Also there’s probs going to be a bit of air up there (cue the butt queef) or you might need to poo anyway, so get it out,y’all.
You’ll know if it’s for you after the first time
Listen, if you tried it and hated it then you absolutely do not have to do it again. Or even at all in the first place if you know it's not for you.
If you’re a girl then stick to the vag and if you’re a dude then maybe you’re just a top and that’s cool. Don’t feel you need to do it if it’s not for you. All your partner can ask is that you gave it your all,babes.
And now a few more words from Courtney act on safer sex...