Dating Resolutions To Make If You Want To Find Love In 2019

Now that January is here, chances are that you've already broken a few of those noble New Year's resolutions you made at midnight on NYE.

But there's still time to start from scratch and if finding romantic love is on the agenda for you this year, here's a few dating resolutions to consider, whether that's to stop ghosting (don't even pretend you haven't done it), make more effort to put yourself out there or just to remind yourself that you can be just as happy being single as in a relationship.

Sort of like a follow up to Dua Lipa's New Rules, if you will. 

1. Extinguish any old flames

Whether it’s an ex you still find yourself texting in the middle of the night or that fling who you can’t quite stop kissing even though you know they’ve got someone else on the go, it’s time to cut the cord. 

The easy temptation of knowing they are there is probably what’s stopping you from seeing who else is out there.

If they aren’t fulfilling you, valuing you or giving you what you want and need in terms of romance then make like Ariana Grande and send them a thank u, next. 

2. Work out what you want 

Sometimes it’s hard to know what you’re looking for until you find it, but equally, you need to be honest with yourself. 

If you just want to keep it casual then that’s totally fine. If you’re looking for The One, also fine. Just be honest with yourself - and whoever you are dating - about what you want and not what you feel like you should want. The key is to remember that dating isn’t a job - it’s supposed to be fun. If you aren’t having fun then you need to re-evaluate how you’re going about things and whether you should even be dating at all right now. 

It’s also worth remembering that what you want from a relationship isn’t always what you need from it. The basis of successful long-term relationships is friendship, someone you can trust and confide in. Writing a list of qualities that are important to you can be a useful way to remind yourself that having hair like Harry Styles’ isn’t everything. 

3. Communicate

To have a successful romantic life, you need to be available, both physically and emotionally. You need to make time for that other person (or those other people) and you need to be as present for them as you are for yourself. 

Dating is delicious but undeniably awkward, especially when you’re first getting to know someone, and that means it can feel frankly terrifying to be honest and open about how you feel and what you want. Still, if you want to move forwards with someone then you’re going to have to let them in to really see whether it’s ever going to work. 

4. Put yourself first

Your happiness doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship, no matter what our monogamy-loving culture might have you believe. You should always be your number one priority and if you’re exhausted by dating, are still getting over someone or are perfectly happy living a single life, that’s totally acceptable. 

You gotta do you, so forget the background noise of everyone around you and be kind to yourself. It really is a game of luck and the fact you aren’t meeting someone who is right for you does not mean you are any less deserving of love than anyone else. 

5. Buuuuut you've also got to put yourself out there

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while, it’s easy to get yourself stuck in a pattern. And it’s no surprise that you might not be finding much success if you’re only ever meeting the same kind of people and hanging out at the same kind of places. 

Yes, it’s awkward and yes, you might like being in your comfort zone, but that probably isn’t helping you out if you’re serious about dating. 

Resolve to shake things up in 2019 and push yourself to try some more exciting dates. Think about changing up where and what you do on dates as well as being open minded and actively trying to date outside of your usual type. 

You also need to actually go on some dates: if you are always talking about wanting a partner then only half-heartedly messaging people on apps and never actually meeting anyone IRL, it isn’t exactly going to help, is it?

6. Give up the ghost

If there’s one thing we should all agree, it’s to leave ghosting, breadcrumbing, orbiting and whatever other godawful ways there are to disappear from the lives of those you’ve dated without ever speaking to them again in 2018.

Dating can be an exhausting process if you feel like you’re never having much luck, but if someone has made the effort to go out with you and hasn’t rung any alarm bells in terms of your safety, be a grown up and just tell them that you aren’t into it. 

It’s not a crime to tell someone you don’t think it’s going to work out, but it is pretty depressing to be ghosted, so act like a human and let them know it’s not for you. Similarly, leave anyone who’s ghosted you and then reappears three months later watching your Instagram Story on the reg at the door. Block them and move on because if they are playing games, they don’t deserve you.

Need more inspo? Here's Dua Lipa's New Rules vid for old time's sake...