Guys in Their 20s Talk All About Proposing To Their Person
SO EMOSH. But also very interesting....
There is only so much info you get when you ask the standard 'So how did it happen?' to a couple that just got engaged. But what we really want to know are the gory details. How? Why? What if? So we got a bunch of guys to answer all our nosy questions.
Prepare to get well emosh but also learn a few things you never realised about dudes and diamonds...
“I pushed back my proposal because we were so depressed Trump won the Presidency”
"We were on Waiheke Island, New Zealand, visiting family. I had planned to do it the day before we left, to avoid having to run the various security gauntlets with the ‘shiny goods’. I was terrified I’d have airport security rifling through my luggage to expose the jewellery hidden at the bottom, ruining the surprise and me having to do it awkwardly in line at either Heathrow/Dubai/Sydney/Auckland airport..."
"But Trump won the US Presidency that day and I calculated we were both too depressed to make logical decisions, so I waited a few days until we arrived at what seemed like a pretty good spot. It was after a day of vineyards, which almost certainly shifted the odds of success in my favour...”
“I never considered marriage until I met her”
"Until I met Scarlett, I never thought I would marry someone. It’s hard to explain why its’ changed but the notion of marriage means something now. Before, it was something I read about or saw in the movies, it never felt ascertainable or a real possibility to me."
"I guess looking back, something was missing to give me 'that' feeling and obviously Scarlett gives me 'that' feeling. The feeling is hard to explain but I know now, I don't ever want to be without her love, humour or warmth. Because, for me, marriage is the ultimate commitment to your partner.. I want to officially promise Scarlett - in a room full of family and friends - that I will love and take care of her, for the rest of her life."
“My wife is a huge feminist so I was in a dilemma - I wanted to marry this girl but she didn't want me to ask her the question!”
“My wife is a massive feminist. And I don't say that in a bad way! Her feminism has definitely rubbed off on me. She would say - 'why does the man get to ask the women to marry them?' So I knew she didn't want me to go down on one knee and propose - i.e. the traditional gender stereotypical way of doing it."
"I was in a dilemma - I wanted to marry this girl but she didn't want me to ask her the question. My solution - get a third party to ask us the question at the exact same time - and what better third party than our two dogs Bella and Winston! Whilst on an evening walk, out of nowhere Bella and Winston came running towards us from afar wearing dog bandanas - one wearing "marry him" and the other wearing "marry her". She couldn't possible say no to our puppies!"
“100 leather-clad bikers ruined the spot I was going to propose”
"We were on a trip to the west coast of Scotland to visit my Grandma and on the way back, there's a viewpoint at the top of a road called 'The Rest and Be Thankful' which looks down into the glen so I planned to do it there. However, when we got there, there was a massive motorbike meeting happening, about 100 leather-clad bikers wandering about and so I panicked and ended up going down to another viewpoint."
"We pulled over, got out and stood looking out over the glen below us and then I just turned to her, mumbled some badly thought out words which I had actually been practicing in my head all day, and got down on one knee (accidentally on a really jaggy rock) and asked her to marry me. I also had a bottle of champagne in the boot of the car, either to celebrate or drown my sorrows. As it was, she ended up drinking most of it on the drive back to her house.”
“We talked about it loads before, I don’t think these big things should be a surprise!”
"I realised she was the person I wanted to marry donkeys years ago. We had been going out for eight years when I proposed. We were still fairly young which was one of the main reasons we didn’t get engaged earlier. Since we’d been together so long we had discussed marriage frequently and were living together at the time. I always find it odd when people say they haven’t discussed it. I’m not sure these things should be big surprises!"
“A major factor in asking him was how we’d be legally viewed as a couple”
“We spoke about it a lot before I asked him. We'd discussed it before a few times. I don't understand when people 'pop the question' without any idea about how that marriage might look, or how you want it to look. I wanted to propose because I knew that I wanted to make a commitment to Chris and our life together. Marriage isn't for everyone and I wanted to make sure that our marriage would be something that would reflect us. We talked about how we'd want to be as husbands to one another."
"A LOT of it was to do with how we were viewed legally as a couple. The legal protections that come along with marriage made sense. Chris is 37 and said that marriage was never an option for him growing up and I’m lucky to be part of a generation when the LGBT communities are being afforded more and more legal protections. There’s still lot’s to do though!”
“Me and her dad both cried on the golf course when I asked for permission”
"I wanted to propose because I had been with Charlotte for over nine years and I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I play a lot of golf with my father in law so I asked his permission on the golf course. I made sure I won the match beforehand so he didn’t have any excuses. We both cried walking down 18th, trying to hide it from each other as we did."
“There was one moment I realised, you don’t spend almost 10 years with someone, and wake up one morning and think “Boom! I’m going to wife that!”
“There wasn’t a moment I knew I wanted to marry her, more a slower realisation – it may not seem as romantic or impressive but it’s more like real life, you don’t spend almost 10 years with someone, live together for 8 of those and wake up one morning and think ‘Boom! I’m going to wife that!’ It’s more of a natural choice, something that you realise you want to do more than anything else."
"To be honest I think you always know – after meeting I knew it was a possibility, if it wasn’t we wouldn’t have gone out together. It’s only after the test of time I realised that every version of my future in my head, every day dream, every plan featured her – that’s when I began to realise it was time. Plus her dad’s cheque cleared…”
“My biggest fear was she would say no so I got drunk!”
“We hadn’t discussed marriage at all so I was pretty scared she would say no! I thought I was acting pretty normally but we went for a drink beforehand at the bar and I managed to have three pints in half an hour and Steph asked me if everything was okay. She said I was acting odd. But she said yes! We’re getting married next month. “
“Marriage itself does not have a great record and so I do have some fear that if we change as people as we get older and it doesn't pass the 'forever' test”
“We hadn’t discussed marriage at all. I always suggested I was not that keen on the idea but I was pretty confident Alexandra would say yes. Though I had a slight fear I had misjudged the situation and she would say no and that would no doubt change things between us."
"Marriage itself does not have a great track record with people changing as they get older and not passing the 'forever' test – divorce generally being a complete nightmare. But I am confident that I wanted to share whatever life brings with her and that would not change. I also always envisaged having children. Proposing seemed like a good idea with those two things in mind.”
“I designed the ring after the lost one her Gran had wanted her to have”
"Pretty soon after meeting Steph I knew she was the one. It was two years from first date to proposal, it wouldn’t have been too long after meeting to be fair. I started saving for the ring about a year before I asked her and went to a friend who was a jewellery designer."
"Her birthstone is ruby but probably more pertinent, her gran who has passed away had a ruby ring she had wanted Steph to have, but unfortunately went missing in the nursing home. I thought it would mean a lot to her if it was ruby. To Steph it’s the gesture and sentiment behind things that she likes, so it didn’t really cross my mind whether she'd like it or not. That being said it was great to get a yes!”
“The proposal was a shambles, I was acting so weird leading up to it!”
"I proposed in the Gilli islands in Indonesia on a beach at sunset but the proposal itself was a shambles. Milly definitely knew something was up especially seeing as I was so keen to go on a walk and see the sunset. I had to really persuade her to come with me. I tried to bribe her that the sunset would be amazing but she wasn't having any of it and was quite happy chilling on her deck chair."
"Another challenge was carrying the ring and her not realising a box was in my pocket. I had to always keep walking on the opposite side to her. I was mega nervous and was too busy worrying about the setting and being on our own rather than thinking about what I was going to say. But she said yes!"
“My friends getting engaged put a bit of pressure on me and nudged me to get on with it”
“Before I asked her I had a mixture of excitement & anxiety. Mainly around it being such a catalyst for huge life changes. All very positive ones but significant at the same time.”
“I think my friends getting engaged may have affected me subconsciously. Them taking the plunge definitely gave me a nudge to get on with it. I would be lying if I said there wasn't a bit more pressure but nothing unbearable. However, I don't think anyone should put too much pressure on themselves - if it feels right just get on and do it. Getting engaged was the best thing I've ever done.”
"I didn't want to ask for permisson when her answer was the only one that mattered!"
"The first time I met Claire it felt like I already knew her! I've not experienced that before or since where I instantly knew this person without knowing them. I had realised early on on our relationship that she was the one and when it came to proposing I'm not a traditional person so I didn't feel it necessary to ask her mother or father for permission when Claire's answer is the only one I cared about."
And to continue on with this romantical vibe watch guys and girls take a sexy Would You Rather Quiz...Okay so not that romantic.