How To Come To Terms With Your Massive Weakness For F***boys
An epidemic that is sweeping the nation.
Ever noticed that there’s just something about a guy who isn’t right for you that makes him incredibly appealing? It’s a universal problem that causes a bunch otherwise rational, level-headed and sensible guys/girls to throw their lot in with the absolute worst person.
On the plus side, there is a route out of this emotional mess and it doesn’t involve sitting in a dark room listening to Dua Lipa’s ‘New Rules’ on repeat until the sun comes up. But, you know, that's always worth a shot too.
Let's all get checking whether a bunch of millenials actually know their way around a dick. The anatomical kind.
1. Acknowledge that every single person on this planet has a weakness.
Sure, it might seem like yours has potentially long-lasting consequences but at least you’re not obsessed with money, power, or a whole host of more unhealthy pursuits. When it comes to it, fancying someone who you probably won’t end up heading down the aisle with ranks pretty low on the list of things that could be wrong with you.
2. Give yourself some credit when it comes to being self-aware.
Contrary to popular opinion, you’re not one of those people who can’t see themselves walking into a big fat mistake. The warning signs are all there in lit-up giant red letters but you – in all your infinite wisdom – decide to dive in headfirst anyway despite knowing ~exactly~ how it’s going to end.
3. Take heart in the fact that at least you’re not in a boring relationship.
When it comes to it, you’d rather be chasing down attention from the wrong person than sitting around in a long-term relationship with someone who has the literal personality of a horse tranquiliser. What’s life without a bit of heart-racing excitement?
4. Reflect on how each and every failed romance has taught you a valuable lesson.
While it’s true that there's no deviation from the overruling ‘F***boy’ category, you have at least worked your way through the various sub-categories eg. Uni f***boy, aspiring musician f***boy, potentially criminal f***boy. There’s literally no end to the possibilities.
5. Point out that this is the right stage of life to be an absolute idiot in.
Being in your teens, twenties and thirties isn’t necessarily the right time to settle down in a long-term relationship. Spending a good few years chasing the high-octane thrills of falling for a bad boy might just be one of those things that adds to the pretty messy tapestry of your life.
6. And finally, swear blind that you will never enter a serious relationship with one.
When you envision your future life, it doesn’t involve the 2043 incarnation of you wondering if your 50-year-old husband is hooking up with his 26-year-old chiropractor. This is just a phase that you have to get out of your system that – if anything – will only cause you to appreciate the right guy even more.