The 5 Relationships To Let Go Of In 2018
You don't need these people dragging you down.
We are getting dangerously close to that time of year when everyone around you (I am very guilty) starts to get high and mighty about the New Years’ Resolutions they’re about to execute. Generally, these resolutions have something to do with one’s health, from hitting the gym more regularly to eating green stuff at least once a day.
Many of these will not work out, even by the end of January, but there are some that are easier to stick to than others. However, if you can’t find yourself sticking to some physical health resolutions, it’s worth dusting out the cobwebs on your mental health instead.
And one way to do that? Getting rid of the people in your life who make you feel like shit.
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We are, of course, responsible for our own mental wellbeing and it’s common advice that nobody can ‘make us feel’ a certain way. But, letting go of relationships (both platonic and romantic) that cause you more anxiety than joy is a good place to start taking back control of your wellbeing.
Here are a few common relationships we all have that are worth chucking this year:
The toxic friend
The signs of a toxic friendship are numerous and, like a human beings and nights out, they can come in all shapes and sizes. They might be jealous of your other friends, be passive aggressive on a regular basis, or just make you stressed and anxious the vast majority of the time you’re together. If any or all of these sound like a friend you have, it’s worth considering if you can make changes to the relationship to change that toxic behaviour. But, if nothing can be done to change it, then it’s worth assessing if that friendship is worth your time.
The friend you see out of guilt
We all have friends that we see only after about 3, 4, 5 messages, changed plans, cancellations, rescheduled coffees, ‘ah, only free for about an hour’ dates. They’ve never done anything wrong, but something about their presence exhausts you and grates on you. Sure, there are friends that you don’t make plans that often to see, but when you do, it’s a laugh. However, this friend is not that person. It’s a guilt-session trying to make plans, painful during the actual activity, and relief when it’s over. This is not a friend you need to hold onto.
The ‘return of the ghost’ guy
He’s not the one who’s ghosted you for good (because, let’s face it, that relationship is long gone), but he’s the one who, sorry, missed your text last week, but really wants to see you tonight. He drops in and out of your life for intermittent drinks and sex and, although it was fun at first, has started to become a lot more hassle than pleasure. Of course, we’re all for casual sex and regular fun, but when it starts to become stressful it’s worth cutting him loose.
The ‘hate-follow’ friend
You know the one. You follow them on Instagram, but find yourself drifting into toxicity with every post. You find yourself comparing yourself to them when you see them doing well and when you’ve had some success you want to make sure they know it. Jealousy, envy, and pretty much every bad –y is associated with this friend. If you don’t think you can entirely change the way you’re wired overnight (and trust me, it’s not an easy feat), then it’s worth saving yourself the headtrash and letting this friendship fall away.
The one sided friendship
A lot of friendships are ones where one person is often the star of most of the conversations. Some friends have a lot of drama in their life, whether it be familial, romantic, or job-related, and that tends to lean the conversation towards them. But, despite that focus, they still obviously care about you and do take the time to ask about your days and issues and take a genuine interest in hearing about your life. This is not the one-sided friend. The one-sided friend is different. When you arrive, say, at a coffee date, they half-heartedly ask you how you’re doing and immediately launch into an improvised monologue about their life, whether or not it’s something new, interesting, important, or worth discussing, and an hour later you find yourself still listening, and still talking, about them. They may perhaps (again, half-heartedly) ask you a question or two about your life, but this goes without much, or any, follow up.
Unless you really adore this friend and don’t feel bothered taking that time out of your life regularly for them, this is a friendship that gives you any reason to stick around. This is one worth chucking.
New year, new you: which means getting rid of the people and relationships that make you feel worse than your best self.
- Words by Sarah Manavis.