14 Things Anyone Who Can't Resist A Bad Boy Knows To Be True
When they swear and you just *melt*
No matter how many times your mum warns you against them, no matter how many slightly cringey motorcycles they rock up on in American dramas, and no matter HOW many times you get a broken and bruised heart from their antics, some of us will just always love a bad boy.
We're not sure whether it's their swooshy dark hair, or the ability to raise one eyebrow in a suggestively seductive manner, but it's always the bad boys that we fall for in our favourite telly shows - and IRL, for that matter.
Probably because we know that underneath that black leather jacket exterior, there's a squishy, misunderstood marshmallow just waiting to be loved by the right gal. And obviously, that gal is definitely you.
But while Chuck Bass, Caleb Rivers and Damon Salvatore all make it look like a good idea, living with a love for bad boys is one endless struggle. Here’s 14 painfully accurate things you’ll totally relate to if that sounds like you.
1. Swearing in six different languages to yourself, your mother, your grandmother, your dog and all of the holy spirits above that you’re not going to fall into the same trap again.
Then three seconds later, before you can even blink a full blink, IT’S HAPPENED and you’re back to swooning over his love-weasel ways. You never learn.
2. Feeling yourself enter an outer body experience and basically floating above your own body while you watch yourself making BAD decisions.
Somewhere in the back of your head is a very sensible angel voice telling you that he is a terrible idea - but oh LOOK too late we’re doing this anyway. Sure.
3. For some people, the thought of adding a touch of smokey black guyliner conjures up images of 2005 Pete Wentz and maybe some weird eye gunk that appears with cheap, badly-applied makeup.
For you, it only accentuates the smoulder. The more guyliner, the better tbh.
4. Assessing your love life and realising that, for the fifty millionth time, you’ve somehow managed to end up broken hearted by a man who’s not actually your man, but you call him your man, but he doesn’t know you call him your man, because he hates being called anyone’s man because he’s his own man.
5. Most people think that a well dressed man will step out in a sharp suit, shiny shoes, a crisp white shirt and a fancy paisley pocket square.
However, you know that all he needs is a dodgy wrist cuff, a v-neck tshirt, some chipped nail polish on one thumb, a smattering of skull jewellery and maybe some form of checked shirt that hasn’t been washed for a few years. Perfect.
6. “No offence to me but wtf am I doing” is something you say far too often to your damn self when in romantic situations.
7. Having to face up to the fact that your obsession with bad boys may have gone TOO FAR, when you find yourself attracted to the full-on, psychopathic bad guy in films and television shows.
Neegan from The Walking Dead = prime example of this. Good looking, leather jacket wearing baddie? Mmhmm. Or murderous, raving lunatic who beats people’s brains out with a baseball bat, who you still kind of want to snog? Also mmhmm. Interesting.
8. Not only do you have to deal with your heartstrings being plucked and played like a teeny tiny banjo whenever a new boy comes along, but you also have to accept the fact that you can’t even complain when he cancels your dates last minute.
I SHAVED AND EXFOLIATED AND USED THE STICKY MOISTURISER FOR THIS. BUT I ALSO BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF. Woe.
9. The struggle of having to hide your inner 90-year-old grandma whenever you’re around him, because your love for early nights, craft activities and the old Pride and Prejudice don’t exactly make you the perfect girl for his spontaneous, mysterious bad boy ways.
You are EXCITING and ELUSIVE, remember?
10. How many times can you ignore the really nice boys with kind hearts, kind faces and kind souls who want to take you out for dinner and buy you a puppy wearing a red ribbon, for a guy who’s ignoring you.
The limit does not exist.
11. Perhaps the ultimate struggle may be the time, effort and unwavering dedication it takes to achieve the perfect selfie for catching his attention again when he starts drifting.
Yes you KNOW that he should be the one chasing after you, and yet here we are at 2am taking seductive Snapchats with flower crowns and angles we didn’t even know existed. Such is life.
12. Me: “Oh you’re not gonna reply to me for an hour, hey? That’s cool, two can play that game, pal. I am the coolest of cucumbers. I wait for no man.”
Me: *replies in 0.14913 seconds, writes small emotional novel, asks what colour scheme he imagines our living room to be in a couple of years*
13. The eyeroll that your friends give you whenever you try and approach them for sympathy towards your love life problems.
An eyeroll above all other eyerolls. An eyeroll so huge that it changes the tidal force of the Earth. An eyeroll with it’s own orbit. An eyeroll which reminds you that you bring this all on yourself, and you know it, ffs.
14. And last but not least, you know this whole mess only started thanks to a select handful of the hottest bad boy TV characters.
Chuck Bass, Caleb Rivers, Damon Salvatore, Ryan Atwood, Jess Mariano, Killian Jones, Tate Langdon. Bad boys forevs.
- Words by Lucy Wood.
Now how about watching a video of guys and girls trying to guess what weird sex toys are for? Ok then...