Why Do People Ghost? Real Life Stories From Victims And Ghosts Themselves
Who would have thought Caspar turned out to be a douchebag?
We’ve all heard horror stories about ‘ghosting’, where your mate was super into a guy or girl and already planning out their future together - then POOF. They disappear without even an emoji kiss goodbye.
Dating site Plenty of Fish released a poll that 78% of their Millennial members have been ghosted over the course of their romantic lives, which tbh is more shocking than if you saw an actual ghost.
Treat yourself to a watch of Courtney Act explaining just how to navigate that awks first date...
So why do ghosts do it? And what is it like to get ghosted?
Here's a few baffling, real life tales to either make you feel relieved that it’s happened to other people too or chuffed that it’s not happened to you...yet.
GHOSTED: “I saw him again and he pretended to not recognise me...”
“Once I met this guy in a club and he was really hot. We had a dance and a big snog on the dance floor and it was really romantic. I started thinking ‘where have you been all my life’ even though he seemed like the biggest Lothario going, saying to me ‘you are so sexy I need someone like you in my life’.
"He told me to call him the next day and that we were going out. It turned out the number he gave me was wrong...like purposely wrong. So he ghosted me, and a few years later I saw him again and he pretended to not recognise me. Au sauvage.”
THE GHOST: “He kept relentlessly replying to my snaps...”
“I find ghosting is just the easy way out when you feel like you don’t know someone well enough to actually sit and explain why you no longer want to talk to them, mainly if you’ve just been texting for a bit.
"I did ghost someone after a date recently though and felt kinda bad afterwards (sorry!). He just kept relentlessly replying to my snaps/stories anyways and it made me feel so much wore. I would rather he just ghosted me back.”
THE GHOST: “He sent a survey to my friends asking why girls air boys...”
“I was on a training course for a week and met a guy who was flirting with me, I wasn't interested but I had to put up with him for a week and didn't want it to be awkward so I didn't tell him I didn't like him. He added me on all my social medias and messaged me constantly so when the week ended I just started ignoring him, because I thought I'd never see him again.
"Then, a month later, he ended up sitting opposite me on a train carriage - bit worried this might not have been a coincidence - and even though I tried to pretend I didn't see him, he eventually got my attention and I had to talk to him. So awkward. I wanted to crawl into a ball and die. A few days later he sent a survey to my friends asking why girls ghost boys. HE WAS CRAZY. I honestly sh*t myself every time I get to the train stop he got on at.”
THE GHOST: “He’ll excuse himself to go to the bathroom and just bail...”
“My friends do it quite a lot. One of them is known for being on a date with a girl and if he isn’t feeling it then he’ll excuse himself to go to the bathroom and just bail. I guess it’s just easier. It happens all the time these days.”
THE GHOST: “My 30-year old ass literally ghosted him mid-text...”
“I met a guy in a bar recently when I was on a night out with friends and after some flirting he asked for my number. He suggested we should go for a drink after we’d been chatting for ages. I was pretty excited about it until he added me on Facebook.
"After a stalk I found out he has just turned TWENTY ONE. My 30-year old ass literally ghosted him mid-text. It’s fine, he’s got plenty time to get over it...”
GHOSTED: “I saw on Facebook that he’d moved to Mongolia...”
“I was seeing a guy and we were probably five or six dates in when he invited me to his flat for dinner on a Friday. We had a great evening and he even suggested we go on a weekend away to Rome. On Monday morning, I texted him to see how the rest of his weekend was and he read it but didn’t reply...ever again.
"I kept expecting a text back until I saw on Facebook that he’d moved to Mongolia. Mongolia. Fast forward two years and I weirdly bumped into him at the train station TODAY. So weird.”
GHOSTED: “She was ghosted by her actual boyfriend...”
“My friend was ghosted by her actual boyfriend. They had been together about six months and had done all that serious stuff like meeting the friends and family. They lived in different cities in the UK and were doing the whole long distance thang and he phoned her to say that he may have to work on the next Saturday she was going to visit him, but that he would let her know after work on the Friday.
"She never heard from him again. That was the last time she spoke to him. Her brother messaged him to ask if he was going to the pub and he responded so she knew he was alive. She still jokes they’re technically still together because they never actually broke up. CRAZY."
THE GHOST: “I realised quite early on that I didn’t actually fancy him...”
“I was dating a guy called Bobby who was from Canada and I realised quite early on that I didn’t actually fancy him. He would call me every night without fail and say ‘Heeeeey it’s Bobby, can I come over?’ I always found excuses to not see him and eventually I stopped answering my phone hoping he’d get the hint.
"He then started texting me - ‘Heeeeey it’s Bobby, can I come over?’ I awkwardly bumped into him on a night out and told him I was leaving the country. LOL.”
GHOSTED: “I was ghosted by job...”
“I’ve never really been ghosted by a guy but I was by a potential job! It was to do some freelance work for them, a huge American company and after meeting with them in New York, they basically gave me the impression the job was mine I I took a test for them. They gushed about my CV, how they’d been looking for someone like me for ages and they’d love to get this started ASAP. I finished their THREE HOUR test and sent it back to them.
"Over the course of a few weeks I sent a couple follow up emails and got the ‘oh we haven’t had a chance to look at it yet’, responses. Then they just stopped emailing back. Nothing. Nada.”
GHOSTED: “He had moved there and wasn't coming back..."
"One of my exes went to visit a 'friend' in a different city, who happened to be another girl. I tried calling him while he was there, but he never answered. The day he was supposed to come back, I called his roommate who promptly told me that he had moved there and wasn't coming back."