11 Things Anyone Who Hates Their Friend's Boo Will Get
1. The fake enthusiasm you have to muster for anything positive your friend says about them.
Look, we've all been there: your friend who you love DEARLY has a crush who you think is a total waste of a personality on a human. You ride it out with your friend because dammit you're a good friend, but one thing leads to another and OH NOW THEY'RE A COUPLE and you think this new bae is just awful. We feel you. We've been there, and we've all felt these. Ugh.
1. When you first meet them and can’t STAND anything about them or their face or their personality.
“Can they just NOT,” you think, before you remember that your friend likes them and so they must be nice and then… you begin to do the unthinkable: question your judge of character.
2. You spend a good ten minutes trying to rationalise this fear before you get whatsapp confirmation from a different friend who also hates them too.
You knew you were an excellent judge of character whose conclusions should never be questioned.
3. But then: the moral dilemma of whether you should mute your mate on social media because literally any post they do about bae makes the back of your throat fill with sick.
4. The fake enthusiasm you have to muster for anything positive your friend says about them.
“Oh they bought you something? Was it sooo sweet? That’s so wonderful! They’re also a TWAT btw but whatever - oh what’s that? I said they’re so clever!” - and it goes on.
5. The inevitable time that your pal complains about them a lot to you.
Yes! This is your chance - you think. You get real and say that HONEY you’re too good for them anyway and you should cast them aside. Your friend nods sagely and takes your wise words on board. As they should.
6. They then proceed to do nothing about bae and are magically happy again in a week and #foreverinlove but now with the added knowledge that you think their boo is a waste of time.
JOY. NOT AWKWARD AT ALL.
7. The restraint you now carry because of this incident, meaning you show really quite remarkable self-control every time bae gets bad-mouthed because these frustrations will pass and you’re not falling for this again tbqh.
8. The very real fear that creeps into you because of this exquisite self-control.
What if you don’t voice your bae-pinions ever again? What if because of this your friend thinks you LOVE them? What if your friend is so glad that your approval exists it makes them more assured in the relationship? What if your silence basically leads to their MARRIAGE? Shit.
9. The hours of conversation that you have with the-one-friend-who-gets-it-too basically planning out this couple’s entire future and predicting the reasons they’ll eventually break up and reassuring yourself that it’ll all be fine and your friend will be better off in the future version of themselves when bae is out of the picture.
10. The NEXT hours of conversation you have wondering if you could speed things up by orchestrating the demise of the relationship yourself…
11. The realisation that you should shut up and just be glad that your mate’s found someone that makes them happy. Even if you do think they’re a tool.
Relate to that? Then here's a vid of people taking the world's most awkward sexy Would You Rather quiz to cheer you up...