It would seem you only to have maybe, probably not have actually dated someone to have a song written about you these days, as Taylor Swift is about to find out.

According to Page Six, Matty Healy of The 1975 fame has penned a track with lyrics that can supposedly be linked back to him dating T-Swift.

Even though that was a thing that never happened.

Anyway, the lyrics go a little like this:

"You smashed a glass into pieces / That's around the time I left / And you were coming across as clever / Your eyes were full of regret / And then you took a picture of your salad / And put it on the Internet / And she said, "I've been so worried about you lately / You look like shit and smell a bit" / You're mad thinking you could ever save me / Not looking like that / You used to have a face straight out of a magazine / Now you just look like anyone / I just had a change of heart"

First of all, Taylor doesn't even Instagram pictures of salad. Cats? Yes. Lettuce? No.

Secondly, well we can't actually think of anything else.