Our queen is sad

Feeling frail and emotional after a big weekend? Or maybe fresh after two days of detox and good diet? Either way, this episode must have had you reaching for the tissues.

Chloe Sims, who is basically the best woman in Essex, was feeling down about her lack of love life. Chloe love, we hear you.

Chloe cried and we cried too

Chloe opened her heart to Bobby Norris and Mike Hassini (who still hasn’t found a storyline yet this series), and told them about the man she thought was The One but who turned out to be not.

Chloe’s guru has told her that because she has his first and second name tattooed next to her nunnie she’s telling the “universe” she belongs to him.

You don’t belong to anyone Chloe hun, but we can see why it might put potential suitors off.

Just Tattoo Of Us

Chloe took James “Diags” Bennewith along to have the name of Mr. Starship (we think) removed. Because who wouldn’t want Diags for emotional support?

“Some people say I’m like human laughter,” said Diags. Lololololol.

Lauren and Jon are…?

Lauren Pope spoke to Jon Clark about her worries over his ex-girlfriend *cough* Chloe Crowhurst *cough*.

Jon said he hasn’t got over what that person did to him *cough* went on Love Island - the show that made Jon famous - without telling him *cough*. Come ON, Jon. Pops isn’t going on Love Island. Not until next year at the very earliest.

Pops doesn’t let boys be mean to her

“So you don’t trust anyone but you’re the one speaking to your ex-girlfriend,” says Lauren, Which is very fair.

“You need to sort your sh*t out and then come back to me.”

The friend zone

Lauren said she can’t give Jon anything more than friendship at the moment, as he “carries a negative vibe” around with him. Love how she knows exactly what she wants. What a woman.

Courtney and Myles are still on

Will Courtney Green have her cake and eat it? Can she keep Myles Barnett as her boyfriend and Chloe Meadows as her BFF? Hmm. Watch this space.

Good date / bad date?

Court and Myles went on an old fashioned date, because nothing says ‘I love you’ like an afternoon in an amusement arcade. Or something.

Megan is back

Hooray! We’d been wondering if Megan McKenna was going to hang around in Towie now she’s a bona fide country music star. And she is, at least for a while.

Chloe M turned to her old pal for some advice on the whole horrible Myles situation. Not gonna lie, if we could have anyone on our side it would be Megan.

McK Grill

And they’re hanging out in the Megan McKenna Grill! Which 100% is the restaurant we most want to go to in the world.

Good friend / bad friend?

Taylor Barnett isn’t sure if he and Myles can be BFFs again after theirfight. Which is sad. But, behold! Chloe M is eating food in Megan’s actual restaurant, and we don’t think she’s given her a bad apple, so friendship miracles can happen.

Dan and Amber play it coy

Not with each other, they’re totally having all the sexy times. But they refuse to put a name on their relationship status when out to dinner with Diags, James Lock and Yaz Oukhello.

We’ve saved you the trouble, guys: relationship status is ‘totally banging’.

Emma and Sonny AKA the greatest story of our time (Bobby’s book)

“Emma is me, I’m not stupid, Bob. It’s Gemma without the G. You had the arsehole with me and you killed me off in the book,” said Gemma Collins.

But will Emma rise phoenix like from the flames now GC and Bobs are friends again? Hope so.

'Words: Georgina Terry'