TOWIE: 7 Things We Learned From This Week's BONKERS Episode

It alllll went down in The Only Way Is Essex episode four. Here’s what happened. And how!

Jon and Lauren, sitting in a tree

Despite the warnings of Mario Falcone last episode and, presumably, against all common sense, Lauren Pope has decided to give Jon Clark a chance.

Maybe she was swayed by the Twitter poll he put up asking whether he was worth it (not even kidding).

So after mulling it over with Mario, Jon sent Pops a very persuasive message and the two had a date. But did it go well?

The kiss

It did, and they totally got their tongue on. 

“I’m gonna be the risk, you’re gonna take the risk, and we’ll do a risk assessment in a couple of weeks,” said Jon. 

Which is actually a funny line. Wonder if he wrote it himself.

And, whatever our misgivings, Pops is a sensible girl. We’re sure this isn’t going to go all Lewis Bloor (crosses everything).

Girlband went rafting

Because of course they did. Setting it up gave Jack Rigden and Jordan Brook a storyline, at least. Seriously, somebody throw those guys a bone. Please?

Speaking of which, has anyone seen newbies Maddie Hooper and Ruby Lacey around? We thought they might have been in the oddly erotic yoga scene at the beginning but we couldn’t swear to it.

Anyway, after falling in the lake, Megan McKenna decided to talk to Chloe Meadows about Amber Dowding and Georgia Kousoulou’s warning. You know, when they said that Megs was only palling up with Chloe M again as her squad was down to just Pete Wicks and “third wheel” Amber Turner.

Lovely Chloe is all wide-eyed about how nice the girls are being, but we fear that she is so chuffed to be back in Megs’ good books that she runs the risk of being hurt again. Be careful please, our sweet Chloe.

The fear

Remember when Chloe and Courtney first joined Towie and no one would be their friend? That was a sad time. So now they’re finally part of the group, we’d hate to see them get cut off because they’re back in favour with Megan.

Speaking of Amber T, which we weren’t…

She’s still crying over Dan Edgar saying she’s “lost his friendship”. Come on, Amber T. Everyone saw his pie coming from a million miles (at least a series) away. Everyone.

Elsewhere…

Yaz Oukhellou is very silly

Yaz thinks mopping is a “girls’ thing”. We think Yaz’s attitude belongs in 1957.

Megan wore these glasses

Yep.

And…

Gemma Collins is our pesca / veggie / vegan / whatever queen

“You will not see me put meat in my mouth for a very long time,” she said, which even made Bobby Norris blush. Love. Her. So Hard.

See you for episode five!