5 Reasons Why Big Narstie Should Be The Next James Bond
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1. He's Got His Own Catchphrase
'Shaken, not stirred.' is SO outdated. Big Narstie has a colourful array of catchphrases for any 'James Bond' scenario. Think about it, right at the end when he takes out the bad guy, all you need is a 'BASE!' or 'PAIN' shout to get the audience in the cinema hyped. Or just when you think his plans have been foiled by your guy with the big chair and a cat on his lap, and all you hear is a 'Hello, hi', in the background - you KNOW Narstie Bond has come to 'blaze the day'.
2. He's Fired Shots Before
To be a 007 you gotta know how to be good with a piece. You gotta have your finger on the trigger, always. Big Narstie doesn't NEED that. He's dodged shots and fired them right back, on some matrix ting. When Chip told Big Narstie to go and 'soak in his own grease', what did Big Narstie do? He had a smoke and laughed about it. HARD. That's some James Bond ish yano. The guy is as cold as ice! And if you're in this business, you can't afford to fire shots and dwell on it after. You gotta sleep easy. We think Big Narstie sleeps easy.
3. He's In His Own League
Ay, forget MI5. Big Narstie has got his OWN organisation man. The BDL (Base Defence League) - all about the peace and love, the drinks and a whole team of people right behind him. Sharing the same mission. He's an excellent spokesperson too.
4. He Gets The Ladies
There's no doubting that. Narstie doesn't even have to TRY. They come flocking naturally. They love the skills, the talent, the catchphrases. He's got it all. Always on a sensual seduction. He's that good he even sets up the mandem with ladies.
5. He Doesn't Sell Out
James Bond doesn't sell out. He does the job. You don't see James dodging the grime scene for a pop music job do you? Big Narstie is loyal to the game, and gets the job done. Step aside Idris Elba, Narstie Bond comin' through! BASE.
Words: Charlie Smith
Bond Image: Daniel Wright