14 Types Of People You WILL Meet In Hostel Dorm Rooms
A whole load of strangers in a room... what could go wrong?
When it comes to travelling on a budget, you really can’t beat a hostel dorm room. They’re a fab way to make new pals - especially for the solo traveller - and often in brilliantly central locations with knowledgeable staff on-hand to help you make the most of your stay.
However. Dorm rooms also mean that you’re sharing your space with a whole load of strangers - and there are a few types that EVERYONE will encounter at least once. Behold:
You walk into your room. There’s someone sitting on one of the bunks. ‘Hi!’, she says. ‘Oh she seems nice’, you think.
SMASH CUT to 45 minutes later, when she’s finished describing every meal she’s eaten since arriving and - without even taking a breath - launched into a tirade about her ex-boyfriend who refused to come travelling with her. Oh. God. This is your life now. Listening to this girl is what you do now.
We’re not talking a few snorty snuffles here - we’re talking BONE SHAKING death rattles of seismic proportions that no earplugs or pillow-over-the-head can contend with. Is it an earthquake? Is it a thunderstorm? Nope, it’s the snorer, and sleep is but a distant memory.
That one person who seems to forget they’re sharing a really quite small space with approx 6 other people, and take over the entire room with all of their sh*t. WHY IS YOUR STUFF ALL OVER THE FLOOR, SUSAN? WHY ARE YOUR WASHED KNICKERS HANGING OVER THE BATHROOM DOOR?
No matter how many times you scour that Lonely Planet guidebook or Google ‘Things to do in…’, there’s always a hidden gem or two just waiting to be found, and that’s where the oracle comes in. Whether it’s an out of this world dinner spot favoured by the locals or a secret beach of dreams, the Oracle just seems to KNOW, y’know?
Usually a solo traveller, usually Dutch (dunno why), you must befriend this person and never let go. Not literally. That would just be weird.
Look pal, everyone likes to have fun, yeah? But you stumbling in at 6am for the third night in a row, crashing about and singing ‘Wonderwall’ (the universally acknowledged anthem of travellers) is just not ideal. NO the streets are not winding. But YES, the lights are blinding because you’ve just turned them all on, you tw*t.
The Golden Oldie
Stay in a hostel and you’re guaranteed to run into a more… mature traveller living the globe trottin’ dream way past the Gap Yah stage of life. Often also an ‘Early Riser’ (see below), the Golden Oldie is an inspiration to us all. Wanderlust isn’t exclusive to the young, people.
The Early Riser
That keen bean who’s up and at ‘em when the rest of the room’s inhabitants are well and truly ensconced in the land of nod. Upside, it’s one less person to manoeuvre around when you’re trying to get ready. Downside, the shower running at 6am. Ugh.
The GAP YAH
Please note the subtle but significant differences between those on a gap year, and those on a Gap Yah. The latter is recognisable by their unending supply of cash (bank of mum and dad, anyone?), cliched travelling attire (think loose fitting harem pants, countless beaded accessories, anything made out of hemp) and self-proclaimed desire to ‘find themselves’.
This video sums it up quite well:
The Everything But The Kitchen Sinker
Turns up with a suitcase bigger than a small car, doesn’t know the meaning of travelling light. NB: you will stub your toe on said suitcase at some point. It’s inevitable, what with it taking up 75% of the entire room.
The traveller who’s moved to the city/place you’re visiting, but can’t afford an apartment just yet. Sits watching Netflix at night because they’ve seen all the sights / have to get up for work in the morning, knows all the staff by name, and makes you feel a teeny bit like you’re staying in their actual bedroom.
Think Mary Poppins in flip-flops. The magician/wizard who’s managed to fit everything he needs into the tiniest rucksack known to man. Distinguishing characteristic: boasts that he’s only bought two t-shirts.
As if high school wasn’t bad enough. The cliquers = the ‘cool’ group of newly minted travelling pals who dominate the shared spaces with loud laughter, ‘kooky’ nicknames and drinking games. It might not be their intention - they’re just having fun after all - but they make everyone else feel a bit left out.
There will always be an Australian. Always. In fact, are there any Australians left in Australia? Doubtful.
Someone in a long term relationship who’s left bae at home and feels the need to FaceTime him/her at least twice a day. Usually occurs when you’re trying to catch a quick disco nap and/or discuss your plans for the day.
Written by Lizzie Cox