This Is The Formula For The Perfect Hotel Stay
We tried it, and it works...
Perfecting a holiday, weekend break or even an overnight DIY-VIP experience is a difficult thing to quantify.
You can never guarantee the weather or people (and if you can, please do tell us how), but it turns out there is an equation to decipher the perfect hotel stay.
Enter stage left the incredibly smart/mathematically-manic Hotels.com team who analysed almost 150 million comments from 5 million guest reviews on hundreds of thousands of hotels worldwide to come up with this beauty:
F25 + C35 + B10 + P2 + Q + Br + D7 + S + W + ½H = Hotel Perfection
If, like us, the mere sight of that gives you quadratic equation PTSD, then here’s a handy, no-fuss explanation key.
F = How friendly are the staff
C= Perceived cleanliness of the room
B= How comfortable is the bed
P= Perceived Reasonable Price
Q= Quietness of the room
S = Swimming pool
Br= Breakfast is included
D = Location/Walking distance/access
W = Free Wi-Fi
H= Hot drink available to make in room
HP = Overall hotel perfection
If even THAT’s making your head hurt, just know this - a bunch of the above, in varying degrees (i.e., the friendliness of the staff is 25 times more important to hotel guests than the quietness of a room) makes the perfect hotel stay.
We decided to take that methodology for a road test, and checked into London’s five star Corinthia Hotel - one of the site’s Loved By Guests Awards winners - and lived the VIP lifestyle. Here’s the proof in the formulaic pudding.
From the moment the tophat-rocking, suit-boasting doormen welcomed us into the foyer, we were sold. The receptionists were smart and smiley, while our waitress in the Massimo Restaurant and Bar was not only professional, but friendly, chatty, and generous (hello Tia Maria martini we weren’t expecting).
Not only was it spotless, but the finishing and size was all a bit impressive. The wardrobe was bigger than our flat, tbh.
Pillows the size of a sofa, and a mattress you would happily sink into for days on end.
Perceived Reasonable Price
Five star hotels aren’t cheap, but considering the hyper-central location, the first-class service and the not unnoticeable glitz and glamour (it’s not uncommon to spot a bonafide Hollywood star wandering around its floors), it’s a price you’d happily pay.
We were so central we could spot the London Eye from our room.
And yet we couldn’t hear anything outside of our four walls. Score.
Look at it.
The age-old argument of the best meal of the day is one that will rage on for aeons to come. Anyone arguing lunch or dinner (well, first up, you’re wrong) are likely to be swayed by a breakfast at The Corinthia.
The dining room wouldn’t look out of place in the British Museum, the spread of pastries, hot foods and juices is mind-boggling, and the coffee is enjoyably rocket-fuel-like. All the win.
Location Location Location
A minute’s walk from Embankment tube, two minutes’ walk from the River Thames, and three minutes’ walk from Trafalgar Square. You can’t get any better.
Wi-Fi/Hot Drink Combo
Overall Hotel Perfection
There is a reason Hollywood stars, pop stars, and all other manner of stars stay there. It’s high-class luxury at its finest, and a truly once-in-a-lifetime experience. In short…
MTV Stayed At... London's Corinthia Hotel. For more on Hotels.com's #LovedByGuests hotels, check out their Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
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