The Creepiest Moments In Kids' TV Show History
Prepare to have your childhood ruined.
You might have never realised it when you were younger, but the TV you watched as a kid was properly, properly weird.
From Ren & Stimpy, to Sesame Street and even Spongebob Squarepants, there’s been some seriously creepy moments in all your favourite children’s shows. Here are 17 prime examples…
A bunch of precocious kids in polo shirts direct a mate with a big helmet around a dark dungeon where RADA trained actor types try putting the willies up them (or trade amulets for loaves of bread.)
But when the 'dungeoneer’s' face starts falling off as his life force is sucked away, it was enough to put you right off your potato waffles.
A BBC kids show featuring a cheery character called Noseybonk who, despite looking like a member of Slipknot, plants some 'Nosegays' and grows himself a crop of penis plants.
Ren and Stimpy (Nickelodeon)
Even as a kid you knew Ren and Stimpy was very wrong.
Like when Ren beats the sh*t out of George Liquor with a wooden oar and much enthusiasm. An episode so violent rumour has it Nickelodeon fired creator John K.
Rocko’s Modern Life (Nickelodeon)
“Be Hot, Be NAUGHTY, Be Courteous.” says a poster at Rocko’s new job.
Kiddy minds are too innocent to understand that Rocko’s new job is talking smut on sex lines. And it’s not until you become a teenage boy obsessed with self discovered does Rocko’s favourite restaurant “Chokey Chicken” make sense.
Spongebob Squarepants (Nickelodeon)
A murder gone wrong. The killers try hiding the corpse in a shallow grave. A police investigation. Slowly the murderers lose their minds as paranoia and guilt causes them to go insane.
Not a plot to an Alfred Hitchcock movie, but an episode of award winning children’s cartoon Spongebob Squarepants. Kids love it!
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network)
Finn and Jake’s adventures see them wedding-crashing the The Ice King’s special day. At the icy alter they find that his cursed bride, now resembling a sun-dried gherkin, has been tied up.
But don’t worry because she says she’s 'into it'. Meaning she’s into kinky bondage sex. You got that kids? Bondage.
Tom and Jerry (Cartoon Network)
A kids classic. Ultra violent and casually racist, the kind of wholesome entertainment kids love.
What about the episode Blue Cat Blues where Tom and Jerry suffer heartbreak and commit suicide? Such lols.
Courage The Cowardly Dog (Cartoon Network)
No wonder George the dog is constantly afraid when he has dreams about a blue CGI fetus that says in a hushed demonic whisper, 'You’re not perfect'. Sure! This is suitable for children of all ages...
My Little Pony (Discovery Family)
Sorry bronies, but everything about My Little Pony is terrifying. Especially when Pinky Pie has a mental breakdown at a tea party and starts talking to rocks and a bucket of turnips.
Power Puff Girls (Cartoon Network)
“Meh. PPG is just a silly girl’s cartoon?” I think not. The superheroes somehow end up in Hell where they face off with a giant Devil with lobster claw hands who looks like Boy George AND a gang of angry zombies who claim their death is the fault of the Power Puff Girls.
Right… A silly girl’s cartoon you say...
Captain Planet And The Planeteers (CITV)
Remember Captain Planet and the Planeteers? A bunch of teenage eco-warriors are trying to save the planet with the help of a blue superhero with a green flat-top and mullet hairdo?
Each episode was an exciting adventure with a moral message. Remember when Boris dies of a drugs overdose? That was exciting!
Hey Arnold (Nickelodeon)
A boy with a head shaped like a rugby ball and a zombie granddad whose jaw falls off. And parents tell their kids off for not sleeping at night...
Sesame Street (Channel 4)
The only thing kids learnt from this traumatic clip is how to count the minutes they’ve been laying awake, at night, alone, in the dark and terrified of Nobody creeping into their room and stealing their souls.
That voice... THAT VOICE.
Even back in the REALLY old days there were children knocking about, and these really old children watched Wizbit.
A show about a wicked looking wizard’s hat and his rabbit mate Wooly who mutters his way through each episode like a Camden crack head. They certainly don’t make them like this anymore, thank God.
These guys look like dicks. Literally. But apparently the kids love 'em. We're not so keen.
Stop It and Tidy Up (BBC)
Scared us as a child, still scares us now. It’s not the tribe of weird monsters and litter bugs but Terry Wogan’s narration. Chilling.
Without question the creepiest children’s show ever produced. The video says it all.
- By Michael Currell
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