Valentine's Day 2015 was bigger and badder than ever this year, helped by a generous serving of 50 Shades of Franchise.

B&Q staff members were told to acquaint themselves with the book's storyline for fear of a sudden influx of kinky curios coming to look for rope. Meanwhile, Glaswegians who went to see the film were told off being sick in the cinema, with one man leaving the viewing having been glassed.

Whip and chain enthusiasts will be relieved to know that in the wider scheme of things, their tie-me-up-tie-me-down interests are fairly normal when faced with Vladimir Putin Butt Plugs, Vibrating Periscope Dildos, and a foot that doubles up as a fleshlight.